Let it go! Let it come!

Drop the last year in to silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank god that it can go! 2013, an year which can go. It had to go.

It did start on a positive note. Well, everything new does. But the year was bad. 'Tough' would be a better word. It had everything in it to be called one of the worst years of my life so far. It was imperfect. It can go. It had to go.

But, there is never the lack of a silver lining in any cloud. And for that matter in the darkest of clouds the silver lining shined brightest and for that I am thankful. I am humbled. For the friends. For the family. For those who heard my lamentations, for those who tolerated my nonsense, for those who prayed for me, for those who stood by me, and above all for those who loved me. I am thankful. The places I lived changed, not the people nor their support. They were my silver lining.

New year! New hopes! Looking forward to a close friends wedding, to vintage travels, to many days of laughter, to new opportunities, to many many many stories and indulgences, to the deep changes happening in the country, to many new books, to lovely new music, to many new write ups here, and to the challenges of the exams. Let it come!

Life, in between the "Let it go's" and "Let it come's" is beautiful. isn't it?

 

But for them, the world is a worse place!

It was humbling! Truly humbling. Life had not been good to them. At least that is what I had thought before. But when I saw them dancing and having fun, I think I am made to eat my words. I mean, my thoughts.

Elwin centre for the mentally retarded is a school I had known for years now. My best friend's dad is the principal for years and we are family friends ever since I remember. So it is easy to know the school well. I had been to the campus many times, played with the mentally challenged children on so many occasions but this has not stuck me before.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend the Christmas programme of the mentally challenged children of the school. A good friend wanted to take snaps and so I went to the very front of the auditorium and sat there with the other kids witnessing the cultural programme.

The kids I sat with were all excited to see their friends come on to the stage. You can see that on their faces that they wanted good for them. They were happy, plain and simple! There were no remorse, glaring mistakes were not jeered at, no booing, no whistling, no 'boys VS girls' competition, no gang fights. Through out the programme, I watched their faces. Both the ones on the stage and those off it. The smile did not go away. The excitement never wavered. The happiness was there right through!

Suddenly it sparked on me. The purity of the happiness I had lost along the way. The excitement in me wavered. Hatred has become a part of me; Competition has taken away the sheen of pure love. But all of them I saw, in those tiny deformed faces.

May be, I had thought the world would have been a better place without them! Yes, I mean it. But then, truly I am made to believe that the world is in fact a better place. But for them, the purity of love and happiness is all but lost.

Yes! It is humbling; humbling to know that the kids I met yesterday were way ahead of me in their lives for they know not anything but love.

 

The family that made the difference!

He was Mumbai's brightest star; The next big thing happening to mumbai after the little master Sunil Gavaskar;Was often called the Vivian Richards of mumbai! It was on his stumps that the famed coach Ramakant Achrekar had placed a coin first - a sign in Mumbai cricket circles that you were the chosen one.No,No, you are wrong! He is not the now 'former' great Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. He is one Mr. Gurav Anil.

When the entire country was celebrating Sachin, Gurav was lying down far far away from the Wankhede.The smell of cheap alcohol rests around him, as do years of pain in his wild, staring glazed eyes. Where did it all go wrong? Some 25 years back his biggest fans were Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambli. Sadly now, even his children don't talk to him. 

When Sachin in his farewell speech mentioned every single member of his family as the backbone of his success, Gurav was almost cursing his family. Ironically his brother was also named Ajit! Remember Ajit Tendulkar?

Ajit, Gurav's brother fell in to bad company and police were behind the entire Gurav family from then on. Life, took the wrong turn once his younger brother became the target of the police. Finally to distance himself from police he had to move away from his place! And sadly away from cricket. 

May be 'Gurrrrraaaaaav Gurraav' would have been a chant as well! Another cricketing hero could have won Bharat Ratna; could have become the cynosure of all eyes; It did not happen that way. And one major difference between Sachin and Gurav was the influence that institution called 'family' had on the two individuals.

I don't deny that there were other differences. It is said Gurav failed to score in an important match when the selectors were watching. He did not have the temperament to fight on. And there were many other factors as well. 

Yet, of course yet with a capital 'Y' it was the FAMILY, the real difference.

Sachinism! Thank you sachin!

I didn't want to write this. I told my dad I'm not going to write on sachin. There are literally hundreds of them writting and I didn't  want to repeat the cliche, "Thank you sachin"! But then, as always I decided to go with the flow than resist it.

Well, to me the greatest thing sachin has done to this country is to bring the smile back. After a hard days labour, after wrestling poverty and hunger, after muddling through chaotic traffic, the average Indian needed him to bring that sanity, bring that smile.And he did exactly that, for 24 long years.

The Hindus loved him as much as the Muslims did; The poor, the rich, the upper caste, the lowest of castes, the army men, the Bollywood stars, the prime ministers, the rickshaw wallahs! The sad reality of a divided India did not matter when sachin was at the crease. And again I say he brought them all smiles! Happiness!

I agree, the farewell went overboard; He overstayed his stay; there were other important things than a cricketer farewell. But then, what is life without a little joy and happiness? May be it is just a sport, may be cricket is taken too seriously in this country; yes, he is not god and failed so many times; yet if there was one man who had brought so much to this country then he deserves it all.

There was a saying "India slept well, when sachin scored a century!" And for that I salute him! And for that I repeat the cliche! "Thank you sachin". 

In tough times!

It was last Wednesday when that deadly news came. The biggest tragedy my life has seen since it originated. Shook me, it did. Well, life's realities are some times bitter. But then, in the darkest of nights the lights shine bright. And the last few days have been days like that. It is dark and gloomy, but small lights, lights showing the next few steps have been ever present. There is HIS magnificent Grace which I will have to write about here someday; But today I want to write about one other light which is keeping us going, through these tough times.

Friendships! Often been taken for granted; In these dark ages the saying goes, that friends come and go with the wind. When the wind is not blowing and the dark days are showing its face, it is often said the friends will no longer be seen. I don't believe it anymore. Exceptions are there, but they are only exceptions.

The friends have kept us going. The phone calls, the innumerable messages, the prayers, the visits have been humbling. Overwhelming would be a better word. A friend booked me tickets, a friend put me on to the plane, another picked me up in the airport, one cried with me, one stayed with us, one cooked for us, and the list is big. Mine, My brothers, my fathers, my moms, my aunts, my uncles, my sisters and it goes on.

Of course family has been the back bone. The extended family has been amazing. And so for me there is no difference between the family and the friends. It has been one big entity. One big family.

Thank you all people. You all have kept us going. Thank you so much

Legends and Longevity - The capital 'L'

It was tense in the centre. The atmosphere was electric. India playing Pakistan. He was young, confident, considered one of the best at the local level. One shot and he will be the toast of the nation.

Hrishikesh Kanitkar had his moments of glory. A swept four in those tense moments against the arch rivals made him a hero. The nation celebrated him. But,sadly life stopped there for him. The average man knew him as a one game wonder. May be even a one four wonder!

As a nation we are self congratulatory. One singular achievement denotes 50 years of progress. But sadly it will be forgotten in the evening. That was the tragedy of the Kanitkars. The next generation will not know them. And that is what make Sachin and Dravid the legends they are.

Of course yes, they had their individual moments of glory. In fact they had too many of them. Dravid had bailed the team on 'God knows how many times', and Sachin had been a permanent feature ever since I knew what television was. That is what separates the men from the boys. That word Longevity. That is what makes them the legends.

When Sachin and Dravid went in to the ground today for one last time in coloured clothing, life stood still for a moment. For a moment, I had a lump in my throat. I know life will move on. And the Samsons of the next generation will become bigger heroes.

But surely, legends live long. In the record books, In our memories and more importantly in our hearts.

How I wish life could be like this for eternity!

So here am I taking a break from life itself! Hell no. I am not quitting. Just taken a break. Plain and simple. Between the rigorous civil service preparation phase to the 'God knows what next' phase. So I don't do anything basically. Just sit and read some thing or blog some times.

It was a typical Friday morning. My friend U messaged saying that he is planning a two day road trip to the outskirts of Pune where he and his wife make their home. I felt envious. I told him, I will try to spoil his trip by telling his wife D (My college mate and a good friend as well) that driving alone is dangerous. This was supposed to be their first trip driving by themselves. The next moment I found myself calling D. D was her usual self. She believes her husband upside down. Though her feminine instinct said the opposite, she will never refuse her husband driving her on a road trip. Yet, she also said "Sam, you should be here! What are you doing there?"

That last statement set the ball rolling. I called my brother to ask whether he can sponsor a trip and got an immediate affirmative. Five hours from that moment I landed in Pune. All this happened without my friends knowledge. D had arranged for a cab to pick me up from airport and there I was in front of my surprised and excited friend the very same evening. Another friend of D joined us that night and here we are, four of us ready for a two day road trip.

The first day we went to a brilliant lush green plateau. The climate was the definition of what we call 'awesome'. The yellow flowers made me go 'awwwww'! The lake on both the sides of the plateau made breath taking view. The silence was defeaning. Life! After taking some snaps we went to a water fall. Two huge water falls just beyond a deep valley make you feel small. 'Wow' would be an understatement. I know I'm going too far, but can't help it. We also went up the waterfalls and were able to take some scintillating pictures in the river about to fall. Then the return back was as much fun as was the going.

The second day was the surprise. D said she had booked for water Rappelling. Never in my mind I imagined what I will end up doing in the next few hours. Around 20 of us were taken to the top of a huge water falls. 150 feel fall is what I consider huge. So we are on the top of the water fall after some walk. Now comes the activity Rappelling. We are to tie ropes around the body and will have to climb down the steep mountain along with the water fall. Oh! what fun it was. Just the purity of adventure. Adventure in its highest form. Suddenly I found myself tied to a rock, climbing down 150 feet clinging on to a rope.The 10 craziest minutes of my life. I even posed for a picture mid way in the air! By the time I got down, my shoes got torn. And I had to walk back, almost a kilometre on four legs in the deepest of jungle along a gentle stream. Huh! I am short of adjectives here. After all four of us finished our turn to come down, we went around taking snaps again in that serene environment. Serenity personified!

Well, It has to end some where. Two of the best days of my life. Full of fun, full of laughter. A Beautiful couple, a nice friend and a kind brother is all it takes to make life exciting. I am back in business. Business of deciding what next. Reality! But, How I wish life could be like this for eternity.


                                                      Just beyond the water fall! Four of us

There I am! Rapelling!

The reality called 'India'!

" India needs an answer", Mr. Prime minister thundered the noisy and the now famous Arnab Goswami. The growth rate has come down from 8.2% to 5%, and nobody seems to bother. "India needs to know", came his voice again.

When Arnab is fighting for the country's economy, in a remote village in an unknown part of the country 6 children went back to sleep without food. Their mother died when she was just 32 years old after fighting severe Jaundice. Their father had ran away with some body else. The eldest of the children, a small girl of 16 looks after 5 of her siblings, the youngest being 2 years old. The villagers, if,and only if, they have some extra rice give these kids that extra rice. Whatever food available is cooked and first given to the youngest and if, again I say IF, there is any extra left after the first 5 have had theirs, eldest sister has her food.

When some humble souls went visiting them, to do whatever they could, one of the children said with a smile "Uncle, the next house also has some children who don't have any food; can you do some thing for them too? "

That my dear friends is what the real India is all about. 'Food', the bloody 'FOOD' which i waste so many times, which i take for granted that every night i open my kitchen there it is, every single time; 

Those 6 children are not alone. There are hundreds and thousands of them in this country. And all they want is Food. They don't care one hoot about Narendra Modi or Rahul Gandhi. Manmohan Singh is just another Singh. And Arnab Goswami? Arnab kya?

Well, reality some times stare back at you! 

That word 'sorry'

I can clearly hear the cry. Whmph! whmph! it went on and on and on. The bathroom door was closed and the cry came from inside.

The memory of my brother crying loudly is so vivid in my mind. Me and my Brother were the best of friends and the worst of enemies. One moment we would be playing together and the very next moment sparks fly! No, in our house chairs fly! It was also one of those days when we were playing happily. As usual some thing provoked and in no time we were fighting. My dad, usually never even bothers to check the damage caused, that day decided to intervene.

Being his usual self, he did not check the damage done, but asked each of us to ask for forgiveness. "Say sorry, you can go" he thundered! Me, the more meek of the brothers, said an immediate sorry and as usual my brother refused. Dad took his stick, took him inside the bathroom, and started beating him. The stubborn brother simply refused. I don't remember whether my brother really said sorry that day; but i think he would have, else my dad would not have allowed him inside the house that day.

'Sorry' was such an important word in our home. My dad had not even touched us for any other thing, for cheating, for lies, for failures or for wasting time. But on the issue of asking 'sorry' he was strict.

But, I found out recently the world teaches a different form of this same lesson. 'Saying sorry', or basically owning up one's mistake is considered below the dignity. A Parliamentarian, asking forgiveness for a simple mistake, is considered a failure. Suddenly the world has become saintly and 'saying sorry' is considered below humanness.

Did my dad show us the right path? Should we be ashamed to ask forgiveness? Is saying 'sorry' a sign of meekness? or is it a sign of humility?

Sorry world! I am confused. May be I am wrong. But world, my brother has grown up to be one of the best gentle man there could be. May be my dad was right. May be there is a way out of the mess you are in through those words 'sorry' and 'forgiveness'.

May be i am wrong world! Sorry! I am taught to ask so.

A letter to the future!!!

                                  (This post was inspired by another blog! So credits to her)

Dear Son/ Daughter,

Feeling a bit odd to write this, but I want you to know the 'me' when i am writting this! May be when you are old enough to read this, I will be stressed, overworked and unbearable; Or may be cranky and cynical, or may be too sweet and softspoken like my parents are now! But believe me, Im not one of these now. So, I want you to meet 'me', at your age, or may be a slightly older version than when you first read this.

My ideas, my principles and my values are being formed now kid. I want to preserve some of them for you. Are they still relevant in your generation? I hope so! Else, just humour me. These are what i believed.

I wonder what attracts you kid? History or Chemistry? or neither. I am attracted by words. I love them when i read and write. I want you to read; and may be 'write' too. Read everything you like. Do read about your country and your family. They are both interesting. Atleast I thought so.

Do you sing? Or dance? Are you attracted by the keys of the piano or the strings of the violin? I wish you are. Learn music child. Atleast try learning them! It is ok if it just did not come to you properly. They give you a lot of peace. I am pathetic at them, but believe me, my live without music is incomplete.

Have lot of friends. Boys and girls! Go around, visit places, meet people and make friends. Debate, fight, cry but never for once stop loving them. People change as they grow. Even i did, still i am changing. But that does not and it cannot in any way justify not loving them. Stand for them, hold them and fight for them. They are going to be there for you, if you are there for them. I have a hell lot of friends and i hope by now you would have known every single one of them.

Kid, there are certain creatures called brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. They are called family in my time. I hope your generation know them like we do. Listen, they will be the last people standing for you even if the world goes haywire. Love them all. Every single one of them. They have the same blood.

Play any game child. That will teach you life. It really did for me. Cricket, Badminton, Basketball, carrom, chess or even golf. Just play them for the love of it. Watch its greats play, imitate them or try your own style, or learn from them. I did play kid; Every game my school offered.

I wonder your grandparents will be around when you read this. But if they are, learn to smile from your grandmother. And your grandfather will have hundred things to teach you. Try them all. May be they will be too laidback and weak to tell you stories, or may be their stories are outdated, but don't let them go away without their stories. Believe me, experience has a way of teaching life.

Do you believe in God? I do! Believe in something kid; and disbelieve somethings. I honestly think the problem with this world is not that people believe in certain things but the people believe in anything. Be honest and defend to death what you believe! It is ok if the world says the opposite. Also child, listen and understand others. May be they have a point too. It is equally ok to change sides if you think they are truer than you. But write this down kid,' the person is always more important than his view points'. Never lose a person because you don't agree with him.

I want you to know that everyday is a challenge, but that everytime you walk out of the door, there will be someone waiting for you to get home to whom you can proudly display your battle wounds. There will be people who use you child, but know that, for each of these, there will be people who love you for who you are.

Never stop dreaming. Dream big kid. I do. I dream big and watch my dreams fall. Then I rise and dream big again.

There are certain 'No-No' in life child! There will be those who say try them. For heaven's sake dont do it. Life is far better when we don't do certain things

Do I sound too mature to you kid? or do i sound like a teenager? I was considered boring by some, but believe me, lot of people thought im fun too. May be we will have lot of fun together too.

Listen kid! I love you. And will Love you come what may!

Lots of luv
Sam

Living his dreams! Dhoni!

Only one more over to go; I was the last batsman standing. The other end was the one who we use for 'tail enders' definition. 15 runs to win! The bowler was the opposition's best bowler, a fierce fast bowler who had got our best batsman out! Three balls later I was thronged by the entire school. Two huge sixes and one four over the covers and I was the hero!

Suddenly I woke up; Our geography miss was at her boring best. The monsoon is just at its doorstep, and the climate is what we call 'awesome'. I looked dreamily out of our classsroom, remembering the dream that I just had. How I wish life was like that!

When Dhoni, the iceman, played that unimaginable innings my mind went back to that day when i had that dream. Dhoni lived my dream yesterday.

Dreams! what would be life without them? They always have that flair. Are never text bookish. May be that is why i never dream of playing a straight bat dravidesque defensive stroke. It has always had that "Obama calling on phone" or "ME killing a tiger with bare hands" effect to it. Life of fancies. Life that we wish we live!

I really think Dhoni dreamt like that too! May be he had a history teacher who always made him dream. He dreamt of hitting balls out of the ground. May be he dreamt of lifting the world cup; May be he dreamt of being the greatest captain of all times; May be he dreamt of playing in the same team with Sachin. And He is living them all! one by one. Every one of them!

Living life's dreams! How I wish I live mine too!

Remembering those days daddy!

I did not want to be seen as sentimental daddy, but I am; When Dan wanted me to write about you today (Today being father's day), I didn't want to do it, i really did n't.Though i am very fond of words, I know they have limitations. They cannot show who you are to me; They just can't. So i decided daddy, to just let go, and write what all i remember about you;

These are precious moments daddy, moments i have cherished through my life.

I remembered you saying me daddy, that you did n't sleep the day i was born.
I remembered daddy, when i was young, the first thing i wanted as soon as i wake up was you.
I remembered those precious moments spent on your lap daddy, not doing anything else, just being there.
I remembered the words you said daddy, when you caught me lying, they were so loving they make me cry now.
I remembered daddy, the first day you came with me to school riding a cycle just because you wanted me to be independent.

I remembered many of those stories which you told us to put us to sleep daddy; I really do!
I remembered the long walks we took with hands on shoulders as close friends do, when you patiently listened to all my stories, my frustrations, and my joys.
I remembered the day you said you will not buy me a medical college seat daddy; and I'm proud you did.
I remembered the day when you took me for my first cricket coaching; and I remembered the pride in your eyes when I first played for my district
Yes, i remembered the day you cried daddy, when i boarded the flight to Assam; I know they were
proud eyes.
I remembered most of the values you taught me daddy, I remember them well, because i see them in you.
I remembered the times I scolded you daddy, as if I know more than you;

I remembered daddy, when i cried to you and stopped playing violin, that is my mistake daddy, it was never yours!
I remembered the look on your eyes daddy on the day I missed a medical seat; I knew you were hurt, yet the eyes never showed that,just because you never wanted me to be hurt.
I remember the reply you gave me when I said, why can't we just buy a medical seat daddy; Looking back it had such meaning to it daddy, it really did.

I remember every time your voice turns proud when you mention your dad daddy; I always say to myself, that when my child see me, he will see that pride 

Well, I want to be a father daddy, a father like you were to me! May be, I cannot think of a better compliment! And yes, I will stop on that note!

The art of social Networking!

A lazy morning today was! Though i got up earlier than usual, i skipped my gym session. My mind said, get up, you should be gymming now. Body simply refused. My body won as usual! And so is the pattern, i lazily opened my tab to check my FB. Oh fine! FB is FaceBook for those who read this page like my dad. Their dictionaries are outdated. How can they not know FB? i still struggle at such ignorance, rather innocence. Was not FB considered the greatest discovery ever since man invented the wheel?

The opening post on FB was by one 'A' whom i had never known before. Oh ya, he is on my friend list, but should i really know him for that? Social networking this! And his post is in a language which i last learnt in class 5 to pass the exam. That is ok, languages barriers are meant to be broken. And the post also showed two pictures of a swamy with some random girls. They are there to test my general knowledge. Believe me!

Well, I scrolled down after getting to know that Swamis have some things to do with women, there is this post on how my cosuin's birth month flower is 'white rose' which signifies innocence and purity of thought. Oh ya, FB had analysed my cousin's character in the last few years of aquaintance. So I scrolled down again to learn "The age of the prophets of the world", that 'Singham II' is a grand success, that one friend had 'Afgani chicken' for dinner yesterday night,that 'Bruce lee' could actually fight.

For the sake of sanity after accumulating such a huge amount of knowledge, I clicked on my notification to find out one friend had invited me to play "Farmville"(Virtual farming - He really respects the farmers, and for their sake he plays this); and another friend had liked my status update on my philosophies of life. I smiled; happy that he is learning life's philosophies at last.

Suddenly I realized the sun was out and my tryst with FB should stop now. My day have to start. What would life be without FB i thought! Bliss, my conscience replied.

 May be that is why they say "Ignorance is bliss!"

Ya, tomorrow morning the first thing i do is to log on in again! The art of social networking!

Potter's clay

When the best friend called to remind me to write on this, my mind started to wander. Where did it all start? Where is it going? What is it doing? Why is it doing all this? Questions as usual came in clusters and 'answers',  well they are after all 'answers', did not bother my mind. So i decided to dig deep in search of them.

Well, Im talking about potter's clay! For starters, potter's clay as the name indicates does not denote geologic clay, but a christian organisation started way back! 'Way back' is all that i could recollect how much ever i dig. I could not even recollect the year, leave alone the date. I got it! 2008 it is. or is it 2009? But much before that the seeds were sown some where else.

Me and the best friend always cherished Sunday evenings. A group of friends met over a cup of coffee and some biscuits and discussed God, Bible, Country and what not! It was always followed by a game of cricket. Always! There in that small town of Sivakasi were those seeds sown. Seeds as ideas. Idea to start one such group, many years after those glory days of sivakasi, when me and the best friend had no other work on a sunday evening in the crowded city of Chennai.

Like all Tamil Youngsters from small towns, Chennai attracted us too! We had jobs, we had money, we were independent and more importantly we had the time. Time to think, time to recollect and time to reminesce about all that was good in Sivakasi and all that we missed in Chennai. Well, as usual the best friend had an idea one fine day and we decided we will do it. The idea was to gather friends in Chennai and meet over a cup of coffee and bisucits on boring sunday evenings. We just had to find a person who will give us the snacks and the place to meet and of course, had to look for a cricket ground too.

Chitthi and Chitthapa were kind enough to allow us in and greater still, gave us the much needed snacks. We started as four(Two other close friends from hometown joined). We did this for many weeks, even when only the two of us met, we enjoyed it! There is joy in HIS presence.

Slowly the four of us started giving programmes in churches and were blessed! We loved being in that company and i truly treasure some of those memories. We travelled far and gave programmes, planned for that, prepared, prayed and found ourselves to be doing some thing meaningful in life; 

May be i dug too deep! am not able to control the flow of answers!

There were similar friends who were looking for worthy things to do. Through common friends and word of mouth, we all came together and slowly the numbers started to increase. We had to move to a bigger place and a church in Kodambakkam was kind enough to give us their place and also the snacks!

So we meet on Sunday evenings, take turns for bible studies, invite special speakers, attend special programmes and even now conduct programmes! People have moved on and newer guys have joined, the enthusiasm has ebbed and flowed but potter's clay canters on. Never for once it has stopped. HE has been gracious enough.

We really think friends can be life changers and that is exactly what we try to achieve. We want to be friends with people, especially youngsters who come to chennai wide eyed and suddenly find themselves lost! We want to be friends, who will be the shoulder to put your hands over and also the friends who will say, ' Not this way'. May be that is our mission, our vision! To be friends!

Where do we go from here? I personally don't know! and almost don't care! HE started this and HE leads us on. When he decides enough of friend making we will shut shop. Till then, we will walk in the direction which HE shows, which till now has been to "Live a christ centred life" and help people do that. 

The generation that left me by!

Read a quote and that got me thinking! It was a reply by an old woman to a reporter for his question on how the old lady had managed to stay with the same man for 65 years. And here is the reply,

            "We lived in a time when some thing was broken, we would fix it and not throw it away"

Coming from a generation which uses 'use and throw' pens, it was quite a difficult statement to understand. Why bother to fix it if there is a brand new one available? I mean, the new ones are always better than the old, is it not? and the new ones are such fun to have as well, what with the additional new features to it.

May be the older generation did not have the opportunity to buy a new one, or may be the older generation had the time to mend them all! May be that generation was plain lazy to redo it all over again!

After all this debating, my mind still refuses to accept that the modern generation, the generation X, yes, my generation lives a better life than my grandfather's.

There was an unmistakable contentment i had seen in my grandpa; A quiet happiness and a remarkable satisfaction of the life he lived; And sadly, I have to agree that Contentment, happiness and satisfaction are becoming alien words to me and to a lot of my friends.

Are we to learn something from them? Ah, how I miss my grandparents now.

The women I'm growing fond of by the day!!!

Yes! I love her. My love for her in fact has grown by the day. She epitomises what love is! Her voice radiates love when she calls me. And you know what, she calls me chellam every time! Every single time! When that mobile rings and shows her name I know what her first words would be. Not a somber 'hello' but an excited 'chellam'. 

Alright! I ill stop with this. No news to get excited. She is my mom. Wanted to write on her for a loooong time and what better day than on Mother's Day!

But, well, I don't want to write about a mother! But rather want to write on a woman whom I have 'awwwed' at. 

For starters, she is a doctor and an excellent one at that. If numbers are right, she would ve conducted more deliveries than 90% of the doctors of the state of Tamil Nadu. So I ve statistical backing for my claim. There have been days, when she would have worked from morning 9 to night 9, then would have done some emergency surgeries late night, come home early morning cook for both her mad eating children their breakfast and pack lunch for school and then will go back to work again. And believe me, she could do this for days and months without complaining. Inspite of such a hectic work schedule, I ve heard patients telling me that they come just to see her, as her smile can cure them. 

On top of being such a workaholic, she always had time for people! Always! You can often see her sit and talk to an old man from the church just because the old man wanted to talk. The number of old people who lived in our house during various periods is insane! We had my mom's parents, my mom's sister in law's parents, my dad's sister in law's parents, my mom's uncle and aunt, my dad's aunt, my day's friends mother and the list is too long to even recollect! And every single one of those oldies loved their stay at our house.

And together with this she had to bear with an eccentric husband who even refused to buy a medical seat to her son because he thought it is wrong, a mad son who thought working in a jungle in Assam is more fulfilling than an highly paid IT job in the heartland of chennai. Still, she stood with us in all our  idiosyncrasies and allowed us to do it our way.

Yes, she still cries for her patients, still is terribly nervous when a VIP comes along, still is afraid of talking in English and still cannot cross a road alone! Yet she soldiers on! Two oldies are there at home now and yesterday she tried beef cutlets for them and of course called me to tell that the next time I'm home she will make it for me.

So, I ve to stop some where! 

Few days ago when a friend asked me what kind of life partner I want, my mind just visualised her image! I think, that is the biggest compliment I can ever give her; much bigger than the two 'women of the year award' she had won in her life!

Of course tomorrow morning the phone will ring and show her picture! Now you know what her first word will be! " sam di chellam" it is!

Happy Mother's Day!

A proud brother, but a sad Indian;

My brother D works in a small hospital in an interior village of the north eastern state of Tripura. He told me this story today!

This man had not eaten for two days. He did not have money for food. He came to this hospital bringing his child, who has also not had food for god knows how many days. The baby was sick. Really sick, was how D put it. It would have been better had the baby been brought a few days earlier, said D to the man. But he knew the answer! He did not have money to bring the baby also. Today, some how he managed to bring the baby to the hospital, knowing well that it is now a matter of life and death!

When D called me today for our mandatory daily call, his voice reflected a sense of sadness and a feeling of helplessness! He said he gave money for the man to have his food and is hoping the baby gets well!

Even as i was listening to him, I had mixed feelings;

I sure am a proud brother; For he chose to feel the pain of the sick and the poor, opting out of the mad race which his world is up to; Yet feeling sad, that there are people in my very own country who can go to sleep with out food for days together.

May be Africa has some thing to say to the world!

In war-torn relationships of Northern Uganda, forgiveness is complicated. Betty was a teenager when her village was raided by the Lord’s Resistance Army, a rebel army known for its brutal tactics and widespread human rights violations. She was kidnapped as a sex slave for a commander and ordered to commit callous acts of violence as a child soldier, until gradually she was broken and became an active member of the LRA.

After six years of bloodshed, however, Betty managed to escape, running across the country to freedom. But coming home would not be a simple matter of returning. She had committed violence against the very people she hoped to rejoin. Her own guilt and shame was as palpable as the mistrust and anger of her village. In her absence, two of her own brothers had been killed by the same army Betty fought alongside.

In the midst of such loss, with so many permanent scars, forgiveness might seem hopeful, but naïve at best. Is reconciliation even to be desired when brokenness is so irreversible? Does forgiveness cease to be hopeful when neither party can ever be the same again? From where I stand, these are painful questions to even begin to answer.

But the people of Uganda are trying. For hundreds and hundreds of children like Betty, terrorized by crimes they were forced to commit and returning home to terrorized villages, tribal elders have adapted a ceremony to make it possible for both. In a ceremony that includes the act of breaking and stepping on an egg and an opobo branch, the returnee is cleansed from the things he or she has done while away. The egg symbolizes innocent life, and by breaking and placing themselves in its broken substance, returnees declare before their village their desire to be restored to the way they used to be. In a final step over a pole, the returnees step into new life. In many cases, women returnees come home with babies who were born in the bush, usually a result of rape. When they arrive at the broken egg, the child’s foot is placed in the substance, too.

May be, the spirit of reconciliation, is what the world needs!

This is what the cross symbolise and may be that is what the world needs to know from Africa.

Take a bow sir! You are godly

Kya bhaiya, 30 rs TK tho. 40 rs jaadha hain ( what brother, 30 rs is fine, 40 is a bit too much) argued my friend to the rickshaw wallah. I had just had a bad fall and was hurting in my ankle and so did not have any strength to stand. I immediately boarded that rickshaw without waiting for them to finish their negotiations. Further, we also had two full cylinders with us. My friend climbed on too; may be he realised he did not have any option though the rickshaw wallah did not agree for the bargain.

The journey was a difficult one for him, especially with two heavy weights on it and moreover an additional ten kilos of gas cylinder added to it. Every time he had to slow down, again to start it back it needed enormous effort from him. My friend asked about the pain in my ankle; though i did not want to show, I was a bit finicky.

As soon as we got down, I noticed the rickshaw man's foot was heavily bandaged. I asked him what it was. He said, he had a crash with a bike some time ago and had a bone fracture. I was stunned! He was driving with a fractured limb! And here I am complaining about a twisted ankle; why can't you take rest, I asked? Kaana peena katham hogaiya, kya karo ( no water and food, what to do) came the reply.

I had no answer! Took a 50 rs note from my wallet and asked him to keep it. He said, nahin sir! And gave back ten rupees.

I saw his face under the light. It was nearly 9.30 pm. Fully dark. He was sweating profusely. Yet, his face was bright. He had taught me one of life's toughest lessons in a second.

Honesty, is a rarity; that, in times of adversity is godly;

I may not meet you sir again! But you deserve a bow! Mankind will survive.

Getting ready to marry!

"It is ok ma. Sari ok. I will buy that! Ya sure, it looks good! Believe me, it really is. Sari now keep the phone down, I will call you back". My friend replied this for the seventh time after his wife had called him to know about the purchase he had done for her. I stood there wondering what the problem was all about. May be, next time when Obama visits India he had promised to visit her house, I thought.

Nalla velai tower poiruchu( Thank heavens tower went off), he turned back to me. I could see his radiant face. 'M' was the guy who got married first in our class. I never thought cell phone towers can bring a man so much peace. After all he has the most experience in class. Aduthu(next) I will buy some thing for my sister, he said. So the entire process started again. What have you bought for your sister? The call came again! Is it the same as mine? Same colour? Orey(same) design ah? Try some thing new na? So after we selected a kurta, the call came again. Now! Which of the two you have bought is better? My friend of course is experienced! Unaku vaanginathu thaan ma( the one I bought for you only), he replied. Then ok! Is this kurta only or chuddidhar? I almost had a heart attack! I thought both are the same. So, unashamedly we asked the shop keeper and he said, pants you will ve to buy separately. Tk Tk! aap kya chaaiye, he asked? Pants or legumes? Legume ah, I thought they were plants.  Then one other guy clarified it as leggin! Leggin? Then where do they put the pants? In hands? I was confused! After seeing them both and after another phone call we are finished with one shop.

Now to buy something for my daughter, he said! By now I was almost fainting. Really thankful that his daughter is only 2 years old and yet to learn to operate a mobile. We went to a small ornaments shop. So we started off with ear rings, the smaller ones and slowly the larger ones for the mother, then to bangles of different colours, then to bracelets, anklets, some clips for hair; some for pony tails, some for long hairs, some for short hairs, some for the back side of the hair and some for the scalp portion, some nail art, hair bands and some for the eye brow and some for the fore head and every thing in the same colour! My eyes were almost coming out, when I heard my friend say, " nalla velai phone varalai"( thank heavens the call did not come).

What next, I asked my friend! Should buy some thing for Appa he said and added, it is ok, last year I bought him a watch and it is still running.

So we decided on watching Lincoln, even as he was thanking that the shopping got over very fast. We had spent only 3 hours in those two shops he said. May be, last time he took his wife also, I thought!

As soon as the movie started I dozed off after a tired days work( I mean the shopping). Suddenly, my friend woke me up and said, you can be the president of America, but you have to answer your wife! In the intense moments of his life, when he was fighting to pass the greatest legislation of all times to abolish slavery, Lincoln constantly answered his wife's wifesh questions with similar aplomb. May be that is what made him the man he was!

Do you think I'm getting ready to tie the knot?

Prevention better than cure!

We should kill himm. There is no point in giving him life imprisonment shouted my cousin! I could see the anger in her eye; that was the only moment in the entire conversation that she lost her cool. How can they do something so dastardly to a young girl; a girl only 23 years of age. Yes, we were talking about the brutal rape and murder that shook the nation.

So, the great Indian middle class (including me and my cousin) has decided to save the country from such beasts and the first step is to wipe that away! Logical! I mean, let us just finish him off and there is at least one man lesser to worry about. 

But never did we talk about where that guy, I mean that beast, came from. Where he had his schooling? Why he became so violent? Was not he born a small innocent child like my sisters son I so much adore? Never did we talk about how the parents of that beast( should I call him a man?) feel. Never did we talk about, how and why, in the first place did he do such an horrendous thing.

I'm still confused whether I should call him a man. But surely he once was! He was surely once that little kid for whom love meant mom. Surely, he had a sister whom he adored. May be, once he went to school and was taught to be good.

Then, where did he go wrong? Some thing along the journey of life has changed him to become the animal that he now has become. A journey, which had so many interventions, lot of heartbreaks, sadness and misery; A journey which society sure did play a role in. Is that where it went wrong? Was there some thing the society could have done to show him the way?

May be the society got it all wrong! And may be the society includes you and me; and may be, yes, may be, we could have prevented it at the start instead of killing him at the end!

And as always prevention is better than cure!