Taking stock of a year full of blessings!

Phew! What a year it has been. A year full of blessings; 

As I started to take stock, it warms the cockles of my heart like no other to visualize my son's smile, and that my dear ppl are the greatest blessing of my life and for that, I'm eternally grateful, for the year 2022. 'K' is 7 months old now, already climbing onto everything he can find! I guess I'm bracing up for the rough ride called fatherhood. For now, I'm truly happy. 

2022 had another major change! Another blessing. Change in a job which brought with it a change of places (back to my hometown) and a lot of travel, which I so loved. I seriously do miss my previous job and the people there. They are some of the best around. As the song goes, "Change is a strange thing, it cannot be denied and it can help you find yourself", I have found things within me that I didn't know existed before and for that, I'm truly grateful. Also, the new organization and my team have been extremely kind to accommodate me and my idiosyncrasies. 

2022 took me to places I did not know existed on the planet earth. I flew to the remotest corners of the world, where even google would find travel difficult. Learned how difficult life can be, and how privileged, or blessed, as my wife would prefer me to say, I'm! I think I needed that slap and wish I keep my senses open to the pain and the suffering the world is throughout my life and one of my wishes for 'K', as he grows up, is that God helps him understand his blessings and privileges and stay true to that. 

New friendships have happened! Old friendships have been renewed. 'N', once a hero, has become a close friend and a confidante helping me streamline my scatterbrain. The year also graciously allowed a few friends to start a dream project, something which 'Sh' the best friend, and I randomly dreamt about. We have become closer in the process as well. Though I do precious little for the project, It is something I'm extremely proud of. 

2023 comes with its own challenges! I look forward to a lot of travel, more time with a walking and a running 'K', a lot more reading, writing, and learning, more profound work, and more dreams coming true. 

Can 2022 be replicated all over again in the new year? I don't think I will mind another year of blessing! 

Happy new year, folks. 

Random ramblings about my happy place!

Do you all have a place that makes your heart full, where there is unbridled joy, where you are your absolute self, without any pretense, and makeup. The last two days I was in mine. 

This was the place where many years ago, as a confused young boy, hurting from a stinging defeat in life, aching from the loss of my mom, I found true meaning in life! Did I find life's meaning? Okay, that is too much to ask for! In any case, I found Joy and some contentment. 

It used to be my workplace many years ago! Imagine the place you want to be, being your workplace? Ain't that fun? 

Well, dreamy me moved on from there! Leaving my heart and soul and everything else there. 

Dreams are made of sterner stuff I presume, for it pulled me out of the comfortable, happy, and the contented world I had lived in. Perhaps, once I stop dreaming, I will go back there and just hope and pray that the place will welcome me like they welcomed me yesterday. 

So what makes that place create that flutter in my heart, I asked myself! Here is me digging for answers. 

Is that a flawless place? 

No definitely not. It is flawed, as flawed as any other place is. Perhaps even more so than the various other places of work I had been in. 

Do they do pathbreaking work? 

I suppose they do? But so do many other organizations. Does pathbreaking meaningful work contribute to the happiness my heart warrants? Perhaps so; One box ticked. 

Perhaps these are personal preferences! Perhaps there isn't a perfectly happy place and I'm just emotionally attached to a place. Perhaps looking for reasons for one man's happiness and trying to replicate that is foolhardy. Perhaps, one human's happiness is another's sorrow. 

Yet the truth remains that there is a workplace on this hated earth, which gave me happiness like no other! For that I'm truly eternally grateful! 

This is what I had written about it then.

https://samszammy.blogspot.com/2017/01/dream-team-my-work-place.html

How big were you woman?

"Are you her son sir"? "Oh my God! Sir, that woman was something else. She was god. Her smile, that can cure people"

I randomly met a gentleman in a shop nearby. Since I have recently moved into the town I grew up, after many years, one of my hobbies is to randomly walk into a new shop and drink or eat something. My motor mouth always ends up having conversations, and it invariably turns toward the mom. My great mom! Sometimes, I show off; More often the conversation steers from "Where do you live", to "Oh that hospital had a great doctor", and then shyly I tell them, she was my mother. 

As we were having the conversation, the man's wife entered. Sir, that woman was a god! I came for her funeral and it took me one whole month to come out of it. In our village, everyone just has such high regard for her. If only......I knew where the conversation was headed. I had to stop there. 

My mom had the advantage of being an OGcian. That means families, especially women go to her at some of the most vulnerable periods of their life. Also, some of the happiest moments of their lives are celebrated when she is around. Yet, for a town to celebrate a woman who lived just 25 years of her life in the town is incredible. 

I think I'm now beginning to enjoy conversations where Amma is exalted. This has not happened once or twice. It happens every time. Everywhere I go. My trainer in the gym. The barber. The neighbour next door. My grocer. For a long time, I'm someone who gets embarrassed at being introduced as the son of the doctor. Now, not only am I enjoying the adulation, but also reaping the benefits and the perks of being born to her. 

The dad and I are the show off's. We pride ourselves on being of some influence on someone. Then there was this woman. Quiet. Shy. Petite. Pantophobic (afraid of everything) Never knew the world. Never crossed a road on her own. Never have driven a vehicle. Never read a book. 

Yet there is a small yet buzzing town out there in the world that has her in its hearts. I'm not sure how many more stories are hidden in her tomb. Humbling! 

How big were you actually, woman? 

The wonder on his face!

The crying stops abruptly. The eyes come out of its socket like it was never meant to be there. The never to be seen neck carrying the heavy head keeps turning 180' in both directions. Karun, my 6-month-old is seeing the world! No, not for the first time. Every time, when we step out of the house. Every single time. 'Wonder' written on his face. 

So I decided to get into his brain and see the wonder the world is, through his eyes! 

So where do I start? 

Step out and see the huge tree. The leaves are green and beautiful. But does his brain comprehend colour and size? I mean, how will he know the difference between green and yellow? What will big and small mean? Are the plants big? Are trees big? Is an elephant big? Or is the goat big? 

When something moves, his eyes widen! How does the brain understand movement? For example, one day I saw a small skink (பாம்பு ராணி ) move around in my backyard. My adult brain immediately said, skinks aren't harmful; It is just going from one hiding place to another. I just ensured it doesn't enter the home. Now, how does a skink moving around register in Karuns' brain? I'm sure the first time he sees one, there will just be the sense of wonder! But why exactly does it appear wonderful? Isn't it just an object moving? Can sheer movement inspire wonder? 

The other day, there was a peacock at my home. As beautiful as a peacock dance, it sings horribly! The sound was piercing my irritated ears. Yet for Karun, the sound meant something. It meant something he hadn't heard before! He doesn't know it is the peacock. But every time the peacock sings, or tries to imitate the cuckoo as my brother puts it, Karun gets excited. The wonder on his face comes back! 

Ah, the wonderful world! Where did I lose the wonder of it all? Does monotony stain the brain so much that it has started to rust? Is boredom a by-product of the loss of wonder? Can I remove the rust off my wonder genes and make my life more interesting? 

The questions my brain throws at me on a Friday night! 

RIP Mama, Thank you for your life!

I came back home. But the heart and mind were still there. In the place where we had laid him to rest yesterday.  My mama(Mothers brother) went away to glory two days ago. 

As a young boy growing up, a mustache was a fascination! Mama had the best of it all. That was it. I decided then. I was going to be that man. That man with a big mustache. I was in awe of the man. 

He sat in the center of the living room. The home seemed to be revolving around him. He bought home 

food. He took people around on his motorbike. And drove the car. Everyone called him for everything. He always had an answer. I was perhaps ten then. May be even younger. My childhood fascination for the man grew. 

As life became more complicated heroes changed. The way I saw him changed too. Mama never changed though! He was just doing his role. Day in and day out. The quiet, unassuming role, of being the protector of the family. He never was the center of attraction. Didn't even want to be one. Did not speak the loudest. Did not have the final word. As we laughed out loud, he quietly smiled. He was the guardian angel. 

As I think of mama, the analogy that comes to my mind is that of the compound wall! The wall protects the family. Most days, we don't even notice the wall. It just stands there. We notice them only when there is a hole and a thief enters. Mama was that! He just stood there and protected. His sisters. His daughters. And his great wife. Never once did the compound wall complain of the sun beating down or the rain and the floods. Like a rock, he stood. For the family. And those around! 

As I finished the last paragraph, I thought of the simplicity of the analogy and wondered whether it is even right to compare a life so beautifully lived to a set of simple stones! Yet, simplicity is what made the man so beautiful and so I decided not to edit the paragraph. 

He was my godfather! He signed my wedding register. As we lifted him up and lowered him down into the grave, I spelled a thank you prayer for everything he had been to me. To us. To everyone around. No, he didn't change our lives. We lived our own lives, the way we wanted our lives to be, coz of him. 

For he lived his life, for me! For us! 

RIP Mama;  Thank you. Till we meet again, good bye! 

Random reflections on my Liberian trip!

If you grow up in a devout Christian household like mine, chances are you would have chanced upon a book about the missionary to Africa Dr. David Livingstone. The famous statement "Dr.Livingstone, I presume" still echoes in my ears. Sadly, that was my only African connection till 2 weeks ago. Africa, the continent of mystique and mystery; of dense forests and rough terrain; of innumerable people with thousands of dialects; of slave labors and diamonds. Ah, the innumerable stories we have all heard about it. 

As my flight landed in Nairobi, Kenya with all those primitive, childlike yesteryear thoughts I got off. Only to be surprised. High-flying expressways and swanky new malls welcomed me to the city. The proud Kenyan friend reiterated the fact that her country is among the most developed in the continent, and among the fastest growing in the world. After a few days of enjoying the Kenyan hospitality, I landed in Liberia. A western African country off the coast of the South Atlantic ocean. 

The next two weeks were spent in this beautiful country and more so in a beautiful compound right across the beach. This is what I woke up to every day. 

Yet, the country was very different!  As a student of International Development, this country made me think deeply, and here are a few of my brain's random scribblings.

At the outset there was poverty! Evident and on the face. Life had not been easy for the people. They had faced civil war and by the time the war came to an end after 14 long years, Ebola came about, and another few years of complete closure ensued. 

A generation or two has not seen the schools! How can a country grow if there is a young population without education? Can any country at all grow without concentrating on the education of its populace? Is education the be-all and end-all of growth and development? Can learning and thinking skills be taught apart from the schooling structures to fast-track development? The questions that thronged my mind were many. 

The roads were pathetic, to say the least. The less said the better about other infrastructure. Someone said they have 75% unemployment. Agriculture hadn't yielded desired results. Healthcare is abysmal. Corruption was rampant. Where do we even start, if there has to be some development in the life of the people, was a question I constantly asked myself! 

As I was typing this a feeling of helplessness swamped me! Sadly, life is not fair. Amidst the cacophony of noises in my mind, I heard a shrill clear sound. "Sir, food"! It was the air hostess. "Vegetarian for you", she continued. But I eat non-vegetarian, I protested. "Sorry sir, but we have only beef". It is okay ma'am, I eat beef, I said. "Are you sure sir?" Sure, please give. She gave me the beef meal and left me to my thoughts and beef. I was still lost in my thoughts, with the beef meal in my hands, when a minute or two later she came back again. "Sir, that one is a 'beeeeef', you got me well, right". I sheepishly smiled back.

 "India beckons!"

Friendships and influences!

In a lonely room, in a corner of the world that didn't exist in my vocabulary till the last year, I sit and ponder on 'friendship'; Well, today being friendship day, I guess there aren't many better topics to contemplate and muse about. 

The wifey once said this to me, and I have often thought about it; "You have the remarkable ability to talk to different people differently"; Was it a compliment? Perhaps, a left-handed one! but I seriously think it has to do with growing up with multiple friends and trying and learning to live from each of them. 

So I decided to do an exercise and write the names of all the friends who at various points in time have been an influence on you. Did friends influence me? Well, here is an example! 

One rainy day in Delhi, 'M' and I decided to do dinner together. I don't remember whether I came late or how this topic 'time' came about in our conversation. She took a class on how it is important to respect time! That day I promised myself to respect time, mine, and everybody else's. This was just one example to show that most of our lives have been influenced by different people. Of course, this is such a trivial thing; and surely my parents have insisted on the importance of time at various points in life but this blog is to talk about friendships and influences. 

As I started to think, the list became bigger! Innumerable people; Numerous friends. Some crossed by life. A few ran the mile. Some still juggle along. Every one of them has been an influence on life. At that point in time, something I did had their mark on me. 

I think about all of them today! Those who stayed long, and those who left the course. 

As the wifey said, I have learnt from all of them. To live and to talk and to walk and to love and more importantly to adapt. My life would have been a lot less worth living but for them, the friends. 

Do you have friends who influenced you? Has your life changed for the better because of friendships? Think about them today! thank god for them. Say a prayer of blessing on them. 

Happy friendship day!

Amma's eighth-anniversary musings!

I have often asked myself the question, whether people from heaven watch the drama unraveling on earth? If so, they could never be happy! how can someone be happy looking at the trouble their wards are going through in this wicked world of ours? But heavens are supposed to be happy places, right? 

Today, eight years ago, Amma passed away to glory! So was she watching over us, and of all people, 'me', during these times? For, her greatest grouse at the time of her moving on was her son hadn't settled down the way neither she nor the son wanted to be. 

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in the outskirts of Nairobi, Kenya and from here I'm onto Monrovia, Liberia. Work is taking me to the remotest corners of the earth and I'm grateful for the job I do now and have actually been doing in the last few years, for God had been incredibly kind, in giving me great opportunities to learn and to grow in the field I had chosen for myself. I'm truly happy and contented! 

One fine evening in Munnar on a long walk, with hands on her shoulders, I told my mom, that I was not happy with what I was doing then. The corporate life I had chosen then, made no sense to me. The world said I am being foolish to resign. Everyone around said I'm risking my career. I know my dad didn't bother much about all that, for he was crazy himself. But it was my mother's statement that day that made me take the final decision. She said, "Do whatever keeps you happy"! 

I don't think I understood the profundity of her statement as much as I do now! For if she hadn't made that statement, I don't know whether I would have dared the adventures life had taken me through. 

Ma, if you are looking from up above the skies, do turn your glance to the African continent; There in a small guest room someone will be furiously typing at the computer at this random hour. That is your son. Your precious son is happy and satisfied and in fact, doing really well in life! 

By the way ma, did you look at my son? He has stolen all your smile genes! 

Fatherhood of man!

How does it feel to be a father, Sam? The question was repeated for the umpteenth time; As I joined back work today after what had been a crazy week and a half, I took time to gather my thoughts together to answer that question. How does it feel to be a father? 

It surely does feel a little nervous! As someone who had been extremely independent, a little too distracted, and surely as someone who could never fit into the societal box, it really feels nervous to be holding a child with the responsibility of guiding it through this wild vile world. How do you teach him to do 'X' without him learning to be 'Y'? How does it work, for someone as arrogant as I'm, to teach a young kid humility and empathy? Won't your child look at you and look at the insecurity? Would he learn to say 'Please' and 'sorry' and 'Thanks', rather than learn from the world of toxic masculinity? Ah, the nervous questions the mind throws at you! 

How does it feel to be a father? It surely feels surreal. I had always been good with children. Always! The niece I loved the most, loved me the most when she was a toddler. Every time 'G' called me 'tham thittha' (sam chitha), I felt loved. When we ran around playing 'catch-me', it felt natural. Yet, this feels bizarre as the helpless, small kid lying on his back and rolling his eyes all the time, somehow had to call me the father and love me! Perhaps, with time the sense of love and wonder will take over. But for now, Surreal is the word. 

It surely feels exciting! As someone who relishes new challenges, novel ideas, and fresh learnings, what better field than fatherhood to learn and experiment😜

It also feels a little complete! I have been an ardent advocate of being complete in oneself. Whatever that means, I sincerely believe every individual is and should be complete in themselves. As much as I think my previous lines have been real and true, fatherhood does bring a 'completed' feeling to life.  

So, how does fatherhood feel? 

I know it has only been a precious few days and I have a long way to go. Yet, In a nutshell, the arrogance of thinking I know the world all too well has been put in its place. I do feel like being at the jumping-off point of a 'Roller-Coster'. I'm all buckled up and ready. A little nervous. Surreal. Happy. Complete. And surely excited. 

The friend turned hero!

Age hasn't slowed her, even as the grey strains of hair are beginning to show up. As she bent forward to examine the broken feet of the man, she showed no signs of tiredness. "Aap kyun nahin hospital aaya" her words radiated anger and pain. A tinge of frustration as well. "Kal aao, mein aapkeliye treatment-free banaya". I followed her words carefully, lest my poor Hindi misses something important. I gathered that she is promising free treatment to the man if he comes to the hospital tomorrow. 

The man used to beg. Occasionally collected garbage to earn some money. In a freak accident, he had lost his legs. Life cannot be this cruel. It had hardly given him anything before. A small plastic sheet that he calls home. The old cot on which he is lying down. Wife and three children. Few utensils to cook food. The dress on the family smelt old. Old will be an understatement. 

There is pain everywhere. It was suffocating. Questions thronged in my mind. Where did it all go wrong? Children on the streets, begging. One food a day, if available. Ragged clothes. Pigs and humans almost eating in the same place. No place called a shelter. People eating rats. Children and women dying dime a dozen. Life had no value. The world of poverty and pain. The world I hardly understood. 

In that sinkhole of terribleness, 'S' and family serve. One patient at a time. One more man healed, even if temporarily, healed nevertheless, at least to live one more day to beg. 'S'! The 'S' I had known so well. The 'S' I grew up with. The earliest friend I know. 'S', the best outgoing student from the best medical college in India. 'S', the mother of three beautiful children. 

As we walked back home with heavy hearts, She narrated all the stories of pain that she had witnessed over the years. I saw something that I had missed seeing in her all the years. A complete sense of serenity. Three young kids don't frustrate her. Their future doesn't make her anxious. Hundreds of patients thronging every inch of the place don't irritate her. The pain and suffering around her don't make her helpless. 

The work is incredibly satisfying Sam, she said. 

'S', her husband 'G' and her friends, and everyone serving humanity in that place. Flickering lights in the darkest of places; keep my hope in human beings alive. 

Is there hope for humankind? I don't know! Perhaps 'S' has an answer. 

I went to the poorest state in India. Among the poorest districts of that state, and among the poorest areas of the district to meet a friend. I came back, watching a real-life hero in action. For 'S' surely is a hero this side of heaven. 

If your hero becomes a friend!

Do you have people in your life who you have watched from afar and secretly adored? The cricketer or the film star or a celebrity or the Neighbour next door. A person you have watched in real life or reel and wished you have that kind of talent? Wished you have that confidence, the attitude they carry, that articulative ability, that quality of thought process, the sense of humour, or sometimes even the anger? We all have a few people in our lives like that, don't we?

What happens if you have not met the person, nor spoken to the person but have just quietly adored from afar for a long time and suddenly one fine day realize you got to be good friends with them?

I gathered enough courage to ping 'N' and froze when the reply came in. Here I'm texting a long-time hero. How do I not freeze?

'N' wrote beautiful prose and even better poetry. 'N' was articulate, courageous, brave, funny, and feisty. Everything I'm not and wish I can be. Ah, when 'N' ranted on social media there are thoughts that I have taken time to think through and they came from deep pain. Articulating pain, I promise, is the single most difficult thing for a writer, and 'N' can bleed pain. Every time I read it, I went 'awwww'.

'N' responded gracefully. Within a few minutes of the conversation, I became comfortable talking. There started a good friendship, a friend to whom I go for opinion, thoughts, ideas, and assurance.

How does it feel to become good friends with your heroes?

Now, with all the wisdom of the grey hairs, I sometimes think heroes are ordinary people highly skilled in a field of activity. One also realizes heroes are normal human beings with their own yin and yang. But then, what is so romantic in life, if we put even our heroes within the same box as the monotony.

I loved it when 'N' used to be a hero almost a decade since. It is better to have 'N' as a friend now.

But can't we just let heroes be? I wish I keep 'N' on the pedestal till the end. Let proximity not diminish the sense of amazement; why should age destroy the wonders of the youth?

This blog is to celebrate another year in the life of 'N'; My friend, my hero!

Happy birthday 'N'. Here is to many more years of being the rockstar that you are. Godspeed!

My two cents on Hijab and education!

The court verdict didn't come as a surprise to me at all. Ah, we know it all too well, don't we? 

For those who stay away from the daily news and thus haven't heard about this issue, here is what happened. A few girl children were banned from entering school premises with their hijab on, citing various reasons, one of which was that Hijabs aren't part of the school uniform. The girls went to the court and the Karnataka high court has let the schools have their way and said that the girls have to follow the rules of the school and should not wear Hijab to school if the school says so. 

Social media is filled with hundreds of opinions and so I feel indebted to give mine as well. Here are my two cents. 

I think the role of the state(govt) is to make sure the necessary provisions reach every citizen. By necessary I mean food, security, health care, and education. I don't care if the state where I belong gives me a sim card or runs an airline, but I want the state to provide every individual, with those necessary things I have mentioned above. 

It is the mandate of the state to make these things available through every objection possible. Cultural, religious, and regional barriers should never come in between providing the basic necessities to its citizen. Any barrier, the state should try to overcome. 

If I, as a citizen of a country, tell my child that he/she should not study unless he/she wear a particular dress, the state should find a way out of it, to help my ward get education through the complexities. A citizen can complicate his life due to economic, cultural, and religious pressures. But a progressive liberal state in the modern world should look beyond them. 

So in the current scenario, the govt should actively promote educating the girls. If the girls say they will come to school only by wearing a hijab, so be it. Educating that one kid is a hundred times more important than everyone wearing a school uniform. 

Our state gives free food, so that the children come to school, at least to get food! That is how important education is. Even economic problems should not come in between a child and their education. Religious, cultural norms can surely be overcome, if only we have our hearts in the right place. 

Is the heart in the right place though? Does the state intend on educating, 'every individual '? 

I sincerely doubt the intentions of the state! 

To be happy or to be perfect?

Jonathan Liew wrote this about Shane 'the wizard' Warne

                    "I love that he wasn't perfect and most of all I love that he never tried to be"

This got me thinking about the eternal pursuit of mankind, 'happiness' and does it indeed come in-between perfection? 

I'm the happiest when I have parotta's and mutton chukka for breakfast (Yes, we get parotta's early morning in my hometown😅), beef biriyani for lunch, and Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner. What a life would that be! I'm drooling now, typing this. Phew, how I wish I can do that every day? Can I afford that sort of extreme happiness? Is that the pinnacle of happiness in the first place? I'm not sure. 

But I'm sure it also makes me happy when the weighing scale does not cry when I'm on it; But for that happiness, parotta's and my biriyani's cannot do. 

When the former Indian captain Virat Kohli spoke about fitness and diet and how he has managed his body, I dreamt! I dreamt of becoming one such. Obsessed with fitness, perfect in the diet; Does achieving dreams lead to happiness? I think so. Can and should I sacrifice my parotta's and biriyani's in the pursuit of that happiness? 

Why should I sacrifice day-to-day happiness at the altar of perfection? In the pursuit of the illusory 'happiness' again? I mean, am I not already happy?

Ah, such a complex question. Perhaps life isn't all about happiness. Perhaps there is more to it than what meets the eye. Or is it? 

I guess, to each his own! 

For now, the weighing scales are crying as the parottas and the biriyanis are keeping me happy! Some day, one day, I will try to be perfect though😉

Shane the magician - bowling spell!

Death hits you hard like nothing else can. When my Mom died, even after a prolonged sickness giving me enough time to absorb, it hit hard. Memories come haunting by. Many nights I just stared at the ceiling with her images flying by the innermost heart. Memories! Ah, memories. What would we be without them? 

Yesterday was one such evening as the news that Shane Warne, the magician with the ball, had passed on. It suddenly felt strange and unreal. Probably he is the first cricketing legend my generation had the honour of watching live to have passed on. Memories, they came in plenty. 

My generation Indian cricket lovers hated the Aussies. How could you love them, for they beat us for breakfast, lunch and dinner and that blindfolded. Yet, nobody ever hated Warne. Can anyone ever do so? 

All of us just copied his gentle walk to the bowling crease. Ball twirling in his hand. From one hand to the other. As if petting the ball to fall where he wanted it to be. For when Warne spoke, the ball listened. It drifted beautifully to pitch outside leg stump. Took a 47' left turn, spun at the rate of 250 knots. The ball had already been instructed to do so.  Then the Warne exultation! The batsman's confused looks. 

But Warne wasn't all about spin! It was the personality. Warnie's personality. The colour, the charm he brought to the game. He even won an IPL by the sheer dint of his personality. The wizardish looks, the wry smile after beating the bat, the audacious fields, 'bowled warnie' chants. Hell, he even commentated bamboozling a batsman live on TV!. 

The single binding memory of Warne for me was when the magician meets his match in Sachin or Lara and once Laxman. You can see the brain ticking. Every ball becomes a chess move. constant change in fields. A four over plan in place. Warne, the magician scheming. You sense the buzz! Something had to give in. Inevitably something gave in. 

You gave in too early Warnie!A little too early. RIP. You have given us a lot of memories to savour for a lifetime though.

The women in my life!

The church asked the women in the congregation to stand up to pray for them; I closed my eyes and thought of all the women in my life! 

As I closed my eyes, my thought went back to the day when I told my mom that all my favourite people in the world are women. Obviously! I was just a teenager then. The prayer went on and I decided to take some time to think about the great women in my life now. 

There has to be my mom in there somewhere no? This is after-all my blog. She was a great woman and I will leave it at that. From her last days to this day, there has been a familial mad rush to fill her place in our lives by the aunts and they have all been truly remarkable. From all the love to being the MIL for the wifey, they have done it all. Forever indebted!

The sister who had checked up on me at-least once every week over the years. What a woman she is! From being my fulcrum till I got married, to being the side-kick, she has done it all. Grateful to the light that she is, guiding me along life's merry ways. 

To all the beautiful cousin sisters and the sisters in laws', who have been a sport and borne all my nonsense. You are such sweethearts. Remembering all the late night conversations, the fun, the banters, the food fests and of course, surely, the family gossips. Each in their own way unique ways have made my life better. Thank you is just an external appreciation of my love, people. You can obviously reciprocate by gifts! I don't mind receiving anything in return. 

Friends! What would life be without the beautiful women who had been such good friends over the years. Some have stayed on and have been my go-to person for anything and everything! A few have been best friends for life. In a culture and a country which has treated women with disdain, a few of my friends have been absolute geniuses. I bow down to each one of them. There is so much to learn from them and I'm truly humbled to be friends with them. 

Finally, the wife! Well, I will not embarrass her here. She has been the fulcrum and everything that rotates around it. period. 

There have been many other women in my life playing many different roles. As colleagues, as mentors, as bosses and a few even as enemies. You have all made my life better! 

To all the women in my life, and all the great women out there, thanking god for all of you. Without women, life, surely my life, would have been a deadpan.

The lonely girl in a man's world!

This lady 'X' had been married when she was 17. After having multiple children the husband left her to fend for herself. 'X' married off her eldest daughter when she was in her teens. The eldest daughter's husband left her after giving her two girl children. 

Now 62, 'X' along with an uneducated daughter and her two grandchildren are trying to live life on their own. Educating the girl was costlier then. Educating the girl wasn't on their mind. Education for girl children, the religion didn't approve of. Educating the girl was antithetical to the societal norms. 

After so many years and multiple generations, the family is finally living the fury of the patriarchal stupidity of the society. 

As wifey was discussing this story about this family, I was reminded and deeply disturbed by another video which was doing the rounds on Social Media. A video of a young girl in hijab being heckled by young boys, most probably her own classmates. 

It was scary! heartbreaking! What was going through her mind when she walked across these hecklers? 

Finally through all the patriarchal idiocy of generations when the girl child could come to school, they are being heckled and booed out of their classrooms in the name of religion and religious identities. 

No, I don't know how it feels to be a woman in this man's world. But I know it is time I shut everything up and let the girls be. Don't let religious, societal and cultural compulsions come in between the girls and their education. Let them be. Let them just be. 

Father time and my old man!

1990! I wake up. Look around for him. He is in his usual place. Easy chair, newspaper in hand. The brown lungi, without a shirt. I walk up-to him. He keeps the newspaper to the side. He takes me onto his lap. 

My routine till I was five. Perhaps even after. The Dad's lap was all I ever wanted. My dad. My super hero. 

2022! I have this looooong call with him trying to explain how office 365 works on an iPad. I hate the call. Don't want it to prolong. It goes on and on and on. Everything I try fails. Team viewer (trying to remotely connect to his iPad) didn't work either. It takes us a good hour to sort it out before I cut the call. I hate that one hour. Arrrrrgggghhh😡😡😡. 

30 years! Phew, time has flown by! 

The dad was the smartest brain I knew, till I met my wife. He knew everything. Once during my school days he taught me science and I still remember that day. The lesson sounded so clear; I was in awe of his brain then. Apparently he was the smartest around during his school days as well.

As I saw that brilliant mind struggle to understand and work its way through something as simple as Office 365, something in me broke down. This wasn't the first time it has hit me. I knew the man is getting old. Yet, it hit me hard today. My man is becoming old! The transition from being the super hero to an old man is real. Scary as hell. 

No, I didn't shout at him. I was remarkably patient. And I promised myself that I will be patient when he needs me again. For, sadly, I know it can only go downhill from now. 

Why can't time wait for me? Can I stop time once? Just once? shall I just go back to the days of sitting there on the dad's lap with my hands on his paunch? Is 'turning back the clock' meant to be a phrase for a fantasy land?  Father time, can it ever be defeated?   

Surely time in the real world can never ever be defeated! 

But perhaps precious memories, hazy imageries, forgotten stories and the residual thoughts are all those we are left with to fight time, at least in our own metaverses.