Travesty of the childhood dreams!

You dream; dream big. Dream to be like 'X'; Dream to be like 'Y'. 

Didn't we all dream? As a starry-eyed eight-year-old, I dreamt of becoming the next Sachin Tendulkar. what were the geography classes for if not to dream him. Who of us here did not want to be the next Kiran Bedi? The strong police officer, who fined the prime minister's vehicle for a violation. Didn't any of you want to be like Chetan Bhagat? (of course, I was young then). 

Mohandas Pai? Remember the name? When engineering was the fad when everyone who did not get to become a doctor wanted to be the next big software engineer, the man was big. Rajnikanth? Ah, the quintessential hero of my generation. 

I adored every one of them. Wanted to be like one of them at various stages of life. Thought very highly of them. Had a heart full of respect. 

When E.Sreedharan, the metro man joined the BJP, I went back to the time when I adored the man. The Metro man. He built the Delhi Metro without corruption. As a student of politics, he was the stereotypical hero. My world then wanted a piece of him. He was always in the limelight. The Kerala Metro wanted him. I hoped and prayed he agreed to join the TN metro. The inner Tamilian in me! 

At various stages of life, all of them had disappointed me. I had kept them on the pedestal. And all of them fell off it. Every one of them. 

Where did it all go wrong? Is it wrong to put people up on the high throne in our minds? And then put them down every time you don't agree with them? Can I be philosophical and brush it off as differences of opinion? Is it just so simple to do away with the heroes you grew up worshipping? To take them off your head and make the heart understand that they are mortals, mere fallible humans? 

I wish Dhoni does not join twitter and abuse and hate like every other person. I don't want Rafa to one day come out in the open to be an extortionist. To hear about the 'X' and 'Y' come out as sexual predators as I heard about Ravi will be brain-numbing. If the brain could be numbed! 

Idealizing flawed and imperfect human beings was indeed my idiocy. Of course, there cannot be perfect homo sapiens on this side of the world. 

But is it all a travesty to just dream of being someone else? 

 

Are Social media friendships for real?

Friendships are fascinating; Ain't it? 

Who was your first friend? Do you remember your first friend? When you were still learning the art of walking and talking. Are you still in touch with them? I'm one of the lucky few for whom the first friendships have stayed on. 'S' was a friend even before I knew it. We were 2 then. She is the big doc now; But for me, she is still the 'S' I know. For more than 30 years. 

'J', was the first friend I made in the real world; The world outside the campus we lived in. Who was yours? Do you remember your early conversations? 'J' stuck on too! After so many years, we still talk nonsense, as only friends can.

When did you talk last to your primary school bestie? Sadly 'Be' my BF from school lost touch! Life happened I presume! The senior school besties 'B' and 'T' stick on. Few fell along the way though. College and work? But for few, not many has stuck on. Friendships are such I suppose.  

Through the growth process, we call life, people come in and go. Circumstances bring us together to a few; 'S'  would never have been friends with me, if her dad not chose to live next door. 'J' went to the same church. 'B' studied with me in the same school and 'T' played on the basketball team as I did. 'Circumstances'; That is the word; The word which brought as together. Someone else was deciding my acquaintances, rather friends. Providence. Luck. Parents. Work & Study place. Whatever. 

Then social media happened. By preference, Twitter happened. 

Suddenly the person I talk to on Twitter does not know me. Neither the fact that I'm fat and ugly. They know my views. Just my ideas, beliefs and principles. And we become friends. Not by circumstance. But by choice. I get to pick and choose people who speak my language; who has my belief system; who could understand my principles and ideologies. 

Isn't that a paradigm shift in relating to people? 

Suddenly, I realized my friends on SM have more variety to life than those I had known forever. There is a CA, a banker, a bird watcher and an IT professional. Circumstance did not take me through any of these. 

I'm still a beginner in SM friendships. I cannot confidently say I have found friends for life on Twitter. A few may become Best friends for life. I don't know. But I'm sure I have seen and talked to a few who have found real joy in friendships online. 

Are ideologically similar relationships better? Can friendships be beyond ideologies and principles of life in the first place? 

I'm not giving up the 'S' and 'J' and every other beautiful people which life threw at me. I'm sure life's circumstance will flip a few more along the way. I still find it difficult to relate to people who I could never see; I'm sure there are a few wonderful friends out there, who I will make. I'm learning; I'm learning. But the shift is for real. 

Friendships on SM is here to stay and from what I know, is beautiful in its own way.

The curse of the girl child!

Scene 1:

The doctor picked up the baby. The pink limbs stretching itself, the baby crying; A life on earth is born. Another! The first cry can be heard outside. 

The man was waiting with bated breath. It was his child. He could hear the cry. His heart missed a beat. The granny next to her had a tear. Even before the tear dropped by, the nurse brought the baby to them. 

Baby boy! hurray, you can hear the man shout. The baffled nurse said, "sir, it is a girl". "No, it cannot be. I cannot have a girl. I know it is a boy; I know it is a boy. You are cheating". The man's elation turned to bereavement. 

Scene 2:

An IUD! Intra-Uterine Death. The baby born was not crying. Stillborn, they called it. The life that was supposed to have never happened. News spread. You could see the wailing outside. It was painful. The air was thick. You could feel the tension in the air. As the babies relatives came over to gather the lifeless body, the crying hit the roof. And then the eyes fell on the beautiful one. Still, yet lovely. 

The wailing stopped abruptly. Oh, a girl? They all stopped suddenly. Looked at each other. Just walked out. The pain they had felt is gone. It was just a girl they had lost. Not worth crying over. 

Two separate incidents. One week. Two different hospitals. 

After listening to the wife tell the first story and my sister the second one, I died within. My wife and my sister. Two women, who are beautiful in their own ways. Both doctors. Brilliant minds. Sculpted in the image of the creator. Much better people than I can ever aspire to be. What makes them lesser human beings in the minds of these vile offenders in the stories just coz they are women?  

Men, oh men, when will you step aside and let the women live. Let them be. Just be.