Life is good!

Argggghhhh! I shouted. It was pitch dark. My friend had just left me by. He heard me shout and came running. "Are you okay!" He helped me on my feet. I'm fine, I'm fine! I said, getting back on my feet slowly.

I had a bad fall. We were on my way back home from my badminton courts and I twisted the ankle; I think I stepped on some random rocks. I have a long history of ankle injuries. Something to do with my awkward walking style I presume. Once a doc saw me and said I have slightly cleft legs too. Whatever that meant!

So, I was helped home and then I laid down on the sofa while my wife helped me remove the shoes and then helped me with some ointments. She called a friend and got some pain killers. I joked around to take my mind off, and slowly things settled down. I still could not walk without pain but I was managing. For a finicky patient like me, I think it was not a bad enough injury to fuss. Wifey asked me to bunk work the next day and I happily concurred.

While things settled down and I went back to my reading, it struck me, life indeed had been incredibly kind! It was just a minor injury and there were at least three people worried for me. And there is the huge loving family who was not even informed of the incident. The brilliant friends. The nice warm house. Life of dreams living near London. Meeting some of the biggest stars of my sector day in and day out.

Last week I heard first hand from a country I shall leave unnamed on the atrocities on the daily life of the common man. The week before I listened to another friend from a different continent almost cry about how his country is going through the doldrums and millions are rendered homeless every month. Another colleague once remarked that by the end of this year he does not even know whether he will have a home to go back to.  I have been to some of the remotest parts of my own country and have seen people living without having more than one meal a day. I once went through a refugee camp and the less said the better about them.

As I take my philosopher cap off, just reminding myself again. That I'm one of those who are blessed enough to start counting my blessings and stop complaining.

P.S: The boss did not concur to take one more day off and so I went to work grudgingly.

The courage to say 'NO'!

She called me frantically! "Can you meet me today?, I want to talk to you", her voice shivered. I said an immediate 'yes'. We decided to meet in a busy coffee shop in Chennai.

I entered the coffee shop and waited for her. She came in a little late. Very unlike her! We finished our coffee and then she started the conversation. "Sam, a man is willing to take care of my treatment bills; He is willing to give me a job and also is asking me to move into the office provided accommodation!", her voice not radiating any sense of excitement! "Oh great ka, what is bothering you then?" I asked her.

She had cancer! She was poor and was living off friends! She had lost her father quite early in life. The mother had her own problems to deal with and left her. She was not thirty yet! 

My reply made no sense to her! I was too naive. "Sam, he is asking me to move into the office provided", she said again. It hit me hard. I kept quiet. "My treatment will be costly sam; I won't be able to afford it", said she. I knew it all too well. "What shall I do sam?" Came the inevitable question. She knew that we could also not afford that kind of money. 

What would have I done in her place! What if somebody had threatened me with life, to do something which I would not normally do? or what if somebody promises me a million dollar to manipulate official documents? Okay, money is not an attraction! What if they promise me the post of the member of the parliament. Just do it once, was the offer! Will I agree? Or worse, what if they threaten my wife's life with that?

The phone rang the next day. It was her again. "Sam, I will be honest with you; The offer was tempting. But I decided to say 'NO'. I decided to die instead". I could sense tears in her eyes. I kept quiet. Words deserted me. 

The moral courage to say 'NO' at the face of extreme adversity! I'm not here to preach moral standards; For I don't qualify for that. But to draw a line, and to stand within that line, even if the world tries to push you over needs incredible courage. And for that, I bow down. 

She died five years ago today! Would she have lived had she said 'Yes' then? I don't know. Maybe she was not practical enough in the eyes of the world. But that day, she taught me a lesson for life. 

"Sam, If you decide to draw a moral line, don't step on it, ever and for whatever", I could hear her loud and clear. 

To read more about her

http://samszammy.blogspot.com/2015/03/reflecting-on-life-that-deserved-more.html

http://samszammy.blogspot.com/2014/03/a-life-world-was-not-worthy-of.html

What do I stand for in life?

I'm that crazy individual whose mind just keeps pushing the body all over the place. So one day I will be all pumped up doing the gym and the next day I will be wallowing in my bed like a couch potato. One day you can see me full of passion thinking on different ways of changing the world, and the next day I will get the 'who cares what you become' attitude and just watch YouTube videos through the day.

But this question kept haunting me for a long time! What do you stand for in life? And I decided to write them down just coz the writers want to boast themselves off to the world, not only about their writing prowess but also on how their lives are wonderful.

So here am I, thinking my life out loud! Nope, writing my life out loud? rather silently.

And as I started writing this I got reminded of this voice in the background; The voice of Gregory Boyle whose organization 'homeboy industries' works among the incarcerated gangmen from the cities and bylanes of the United States of America.

He reflected on his life in the following words, and this is me wishing at the end of it all, this to be mine.

"To stand with the demonized, so that the demonizing will stop,
  To stand with the disposable, so that a day will come when we stop throwing people away,
  To stand with those whose dignity has been denied, and
  To stand with those whose burdens are more than they could bare
  To stand with the poor and the powerless,
  And the voiceless, making those voices heard"


Well, after all the showing off! I finish with this prayer in my heart. The prayer to give me a heart full of tenderness, for only a heart that ventilates tenderness for the broken world has any chance of changing it.