My father! My hero!

Sam, should I take him to the hospital? Or shall we leave him here to be at his home during his final stages? His confused look said it all.

Here is a great man, 'V', one of the best doctors the country has seen, asking me, what he should be doing about a patient?

The patient lying near him was his Dad. That says it all. As the father lying there taking deep breaths, surely in his last few hours, the son, the great man, held his hand and with his other hand ran his fingers over his head. Time stood still. Nobody moved. Nobody spoke.

That moment took me down memory lane. My father was the only thing I ever wanted for a very long time in my life. He was my ultimate hero. The earliest memory of my hero was him sitting with a book in a chair in our balcony, legs crossed. I walk upto him, he keeps his book aside and take me onto his lap. And that was it. That was all I wanted. To be in his lap. To be touching his paunch:)

And then I grew up. The hero worship though never really went away. The times we have walked around the town with hands on shoulders like best friends do are some of my best memories for life.

Times have changed. The mother, who had been his fulcrum is no longer there. He is gradually getting old. The logician in him has almost vanished. The emotional man very often appears. The childishness in him is long lost; gone! The love is more often shown outwardly. Life!

Yet, he is the man who I always wanted to be. My hero forever!

As the great man wiped the occasional tear I saw a pride in his eyes. The same pride I have when I see my father.

Happy father's day people!

Three Decades of Craziness, failures, crashed dreams and bliss!

It is finally on! No running away from it. Officially I’m entering the fourth decade of my life! Phew, I feel really old.

So how has the last decade been? Of craziness, failures, crashed dreams and bliss! I know those words contradict. But that is how my life has been. 

A decade where my dreams made me do crazy things. Where the childhood dream of working hard supposedly for the betterment of this country in a interior jungle happened. Where the crazy idea of quitting a highly respected, highly paid job in the glitzy Chennai's IT suburb happened. Of course, the agonisingly close failure when another of those crazy dreams came crashing down, when I came tantalisingly close to clearing the IAS exams. And yes, this decade had the saddest demise of the mother, someone whom I loved and miss so much.

It did have the wedding, the usual brilliant family, lot of 'In law' love - sometimes embarrassing, sometimes overwhelming, the beautiful friends, the best dad, a brother to whom I owe so much, the sister who has just poured out love, and of course the wifey for whom I cannot thank enough. 

So what do I do in the next decade and after? Should I keep following the crazy dreams? And do whatever my mind and the inner heart tells me to do? Or just settle down peacefully? 

Is thirty considered too old to be trying out things? Following your heart? Should I by now decide what I am going to do in life and start thinking of settling down in a place? Should I still be the strong, 'I do what I do' individual or should I mellow down, and start listening to the wise folks? or can't I be both?

So folks, bring it on! My life the last decade had been a roller coaster. What will and should the coming ones be?