Two years on, life is still rolling on ma!

It is still sinking in ma, that you are in a place where even your voice could not reach us, for I can still hear that "Chellam, chinna kada vellam" you start every telephone conversation with often!

It has been two years! Phew! Two years without you? That bizzare emotion could never be explained in words.

As somebody who does not believe in reincarnations, and believe in life ever lasting, I hope I see you again ma. Want to see that smile again; that smile can melt hearts.

The house, you left could never be the same ma! We all try. Honestly! To replace you. And has failed. Failed miserably.

Daddy has struggled on! Valiantly; The brave man he is, he looked to have moved on. Me and Dan, the very reason you lived for, have tried being brave as well. In our busy lives. With the wives. But in our innermost hearts we know that there is this place, which could never be filled.

The extended family you left! Wow, is the word for all the hard work they have put in, to be in your place. To play your role. But can it ever be perfect without you ma?

The hospital has huffed and puffed. Without its star player. The rock star, you were, i understand how difficult for it to run without the captain.

But ma, through it all! We have not stopped. Not once. We don't and won't! For if we stop, you fail ma! And we, who had lived under your glory for all this while will roll on. Slowly!

When we sit down tomorrow to celebrate your life, and remember your life, I hope it just does not end up being a time of just praising you. But a time to learn life's lessons from you and apply it in our own, for you have showed us the way.

For we want to live it like you did!


A few pics from the family tour a month before she was diagnozed with that dreaded disease! May be the last few of her photographs!

The basketball dribble! Sweet Music!

As I walked across the basketball court, a small tear fell down. Even as the world around me was getting ready to watch the match, I went down memory lane!

My school life and sports were inseparable. And basketball was the major sport I played. Yes, I played cricket for school and the district, shuttle badminton at quite a high level, basketball was the first love.

Though small and plumpy I was, this sport known to help big tall people, gave me a spot in my school team for 7 years and the college team afterwards. And through all the 7 years in school and the 4 years in college, this sport had always treated me well

My mind took me to the first victory when we defeated the renowned home team as a school boy of 10; then to the accolades which followed when we conquered the entire district. Oh what fun we had! A small group of 5 people passionate about playing ball, going around the district playing every day.

The day, when in front of the whole school, as favourites when we lost the match! Felt so bad that night, I could feel the embarrassment now. Then as a crown, when we won the senior district tournament and when all five got in to representing the district, what joy it brought.

The mind fickle as it is, brought to me the beautiful memories of playing in the Chennai, Kilpauk indoor basketball stadium where we played under packed audience, also brought me to the bad loss which happened on a sad morning in paramakudi, a day which I could recollect like yesterday. The day, when a win could have made us play in the enviable school states, brought us crashing down when the captain clutching his calf sat out.

Victories, defeats, accolades, embarrassments, fighting spirit, working together as a team, the fun, the laughter, the shoulders to cry, the ice creams, treats and more importantly beautiful memories Basketball gave me.

As I left, I could hear the ball dribbling in the distant court. And it sounded like music! Sweet music!

There we are with the district trophy!