We were a joint family, and a large one at that. Uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers and cousins. One whole big mess!
Two generations ago one uncle married outside our religion. The usual fights happened. We never let the uncle in again. He settled down near us. We fight often! More often these days.
We were not very rich. But slowly yet steadily we were growing richer. Few in the family went abroad to study. A few went to other places of the world and became rich. The family field was giving way to modernity. Cows were being replaced by tractors. Some women even wore jeans. Our culture did not allow them. Though most of us complain about the tight jeans, in our innermost hearts, we do like them. Though the crops were failing and a few of my family suffered from hunger, malnutrition and poverty, there was hope. A small flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. Our salaries were growing at nearly 10% every year and slowly the light was burning brighter.
This man came selling lamps. He said his is the brightest. "This lamp can show us the light for years to come",said he. It can show us in better light, in fact he said this will make us all new. He called himself 'Chowkidar', the watchman! He said he has used his light before in one small part of the house and it had worked wonders. The large family we are, could not really concentrate on every small bits of our house. What was the relation between a chowkidar and a lamp? I know you have that doubt! We did not ask him either. Neither did he answer. He had a white beard and we don't question people with white beards generally.
So he started guarding the gate! Five years since he came selling that lamp. Was it six? It almost feels like forever!
Suddenly he said the money we were using to live were all black in colour and should be banned. Black money? But not everybody has the same colour money. Why do I lose my money? I protested! Listen to the chowkidhar; he knows better, said the big family. The feeble protest fell on deaf ears and all the black money vanished. But they are still found, I protested again; Shhhhhh!!! It vanished said the chowkidhar, don't question his wisdom, they told me. I shut up.
Suddenly we realized our salaries are not growing as much as it used to! The genie in the lamp he showed is not out yet. Wait for a few more years, the genie will be out soon and then we will see the good days, the chowkidhar said. But, we were already having pretty decent days sir; Of course the old chowkidhar slept in the night and a few robbers stole our money. But we were never this poor, a few of us fought. But he is fair. Fair skinned people never lie, said my extended family. I had to nod.
Few months ago the chowkidhar said that for the northern part of the house to shine brighter, they have to switch off the internet and shut people down for a few months. The northern part had always been a problem. May be this is the solution, we thought. Not many in the family liked the northern part of the house anyways. You remember that old uncle? They say the northern part of the family stay in touch with them.
Now the chowkidhar brought in a new man! His deputy. This man also had a beard. Well, you know what we do with bearded men, don't you? This new man is full of josh. Sometimes very rustic. He looks like the Bollywood villain. But most of our heroes in movies were villains once. Remember Rajnikanth?
He now wants all of us to register in a notebook. He wants proof of us living in our house.Not many of us can prove our allegiance to the house, some in the family protested. The poor in the family never had any document to prove they belong, was their contention. But what if a few from that old uncle's family remain inside the house, says he! They are taking your work; And that is the reason why your money is not growing as much as it used to. But, what if a few of our own family members don't have proof, asked the some who are fighting?
What if they don't have proof? Good question!
I told you this man had a lot more josh. He came up with this brilliant idea. All the family members belonging to different religions, let them be given a free entry into the house. But all those from the Uncle's religion, we will not allow. The chowkidhar and his deputy were happy! Simple ain't it? The uncle's religion not allowed; All others allowed without even registering.
Did I tell you that our family had members practicing all sorts of faith? Including that Uncle's faith? So what happens if my family member, who has lived here for many years, practicing Uncle's faith, cannot prove his allegiance to the house? The smartest family member asked. He will be sent to the Uncle's house, simple, said the deputy! But what if the uncle does not include him as well? Then we will build jails and put them in. Then, we won't have any problem with them. But we never had any problem with them before also no, deputy? The smart ass protested. The deputy never listened.
The family which had survived the pettiest of fights is breaking into pieces. For it appointed a man who was selling a lamp as the chowkidhar. I wish we had known then, that men selling lamps don't make good chowkidhars!
But why do we need a chowkidhar in the first place?
Two generations ago one uncle married outside our religion. The usual fights happened. We never let the uncle in again. He settled down near us. We fight often! More often these days.
We were not very rich. But slowly yet steadily we were growing richer. Few in the family went abroad to study. A few went to other places of the world and became rich. The family field was giving way to modernity. Cows were being replaced by tractors. Some women even wore jeans. Our culture did not allow them. Though most of us complain about the tight jeans, in our innermost hearts, we do like them. Though the crops were failing and a few of my family suffered from hunger, malnutrition and poverty, there was hope. A small flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. Our salaries were growing at nearly 10% every year and slowly the light was burning brighter.
This man came selling lamps. He said his is the brightest. "This lamp can show us the light for years to come",said he. It can show us in better light, in fact he said this will make us all new. He called himself 'Chowkidar', the watchman! He said he has used his light before in one small part of the house and it had worked wonders. The large family we are, could not really concentrate on every small bits of our house. What was the relation between a chowkidar and a lamp? I know you have that doubt! We did not ask him either. Neither did he answer. He had a white beard and we don't question people with white beards generally.
So he started guarding the gate! Five years since he came selling that lamp. Was it six? It almost feels like forever!
Suddenly he said the money we were using to live were all black in colour and should be banned. Black money? But not everybody has the same colour money. Why do I lose my money? I protested! Listen to the chowkidhar; he knows better, said the big family. The feeble protest fell on deaf ears and all the black money vanished. But they are still found, I protested again; Shhhhhh!!! It vanished said the chowkidhar, don't question his wisdom, they told me. I shut up.
Suddenly we realized our salaries are not growing as much as it used to! The genie in the lamp he showed is not out yet. Wait for a few more years, the genie will be out soon and then we will see the good days, the chowkidhar said. But, we were already having pretty decent days sir; Of course the old chowkidhar slept in the night and a few robbers stole our money. But we were never this poor, a few of us fought. But he is fair. Fair skinned people never lie, said my extended family. I had to nod.
Few months ago the chowkidhar said that for the northern part of the house to shine brighter, they have to switch off the internet and shut people down for a few months. The northern part had always been a problem. May be this is the solution, we thought. Not many in the family liked the northern part of the house anyways. You remember that old uncle? They say the northern part of the family stay in touch with them.
Now the chowkidhar brought in a new man! His deputy. This man also had a beard. Well, you know what we do with bearded men, don't you? This new man is full of josh. Sometimes very rustic. He looks like the Bollywood villain. But most of our heroes in movies were villains once. Remember Rajnikanth?
He now wants all of us to register in a notebook. He wants proof of us living in our house.Not many of us can prove our allegiance to the house, some in the family protested. The poor in the family never had any document to prove they belong, was their contention. But what if a few from that old uncle's family remain inside the house, says he! They are taking your work; And that is the reason why your money is not growing as much as it used to. But, what if a few of our own family members don't have proof, asked the some who are fighting?
What if they don't have proof? Good question!
I told you this man had a lot more josh. He came up with this brilliant idea. All the family members belonging to different religions, let them be given a free entry into the house. But all those from the Uncle's religion, we will not allow. The chowkidhar and his deputy were happy! Simple ain't it? The uncle's religion not allowed; All others allowed without even registering.
Did I tell you that our family had members practicing all sorts of faith? Including that Uncle's faith? So what happens if my family member, who has lived here for many years, practicing Uncle's faith, cannot prove his allegiance to the house? The smartest family member asked. He will be sent to the Uncle's house, simple, said the deputy! But what if the uncle does not include him as well? Then we will build jails and put them in. Then, we won't have any problem with them. But we never had any problem with them before also no, deputy? The smart ass protested. The deputy never listened.
The family which had survived the pettiest of fights is breaking into pieces. For it appointed a man who was selling a lamp as the chowkidhar. I wish we had known then, that men selling lamps don't make good chowkidhars!
But why do we need a chowkidhar in the first place?
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