I was brought up to be extremely independent. I mean, in class VI when I joined our school I went alone for the admissions as my dad was busy and told me he will join but could not. In fact, my dad wanted us to be independent that by class 3 we were made to cycle to school 3 Kms from our house.
Suddenly one fine day I decided IT industry is not to my liking and decided to work in a remote place in interor Assam, and not once there was an opposition from my parents! They seconded the notion. Then suddenly my maniacal brain decided to pursue civil service and I'm on my own again. Went to Delhi, walked around, searched for homes, joined classes after enquiring people in the civil services belt! Everything on my own. Without knowing a word of Hindi.
And when I see parents going behind children, it sometimes amuses me! When parents decide where and how and why certain things be done, in a certain way, at a certain time, especially after your school and college days, it irks me as well.
I personally think, we learn life by failing. by being confused; by questioning; by being cheated upon; by learning to trust; by treading carelessly, and falling down; then getting up and falling down again; by burning your fingers; by being lazy; by walking on four legs; by having your face tarred; by facing the giants and getting beaten; by losing hope and trust and belief;
And finally getting up and facing it! Facing life!
I completely understand the need to show the way, the need to correct the path and the importance of being there when the ward is down.
Yet I think, there is this thin line, of being unobtrusive and yet being there, of letting them learn on their own yet making sure they are on the right track, of letting them live their own dreams and yet making sure the dreams don't hurtle down slippery slope.
Why should there be a line? Should there be a line at all? Where do we hold hands and when do we leave them on their own? Does holding hands more than necessary hurt the wards growth? Do they impede happiness?
Ah, the greyishness of my questions!How I wish there are clear white and black answers.
Suddenly one fine day I decided IT industry is not to my liking and decided to work in a remote place in interor Assam, and not once there was an opposition from my parents! They seconded the notion. Then suddenly my maniacal brain decided to pursue civil service and I'm on my own again. Went to Delhi, walked around, searched for homes, joined classes after enquiring people in the civil services belt! Everything on my own. Without knowing a word of Hindi.
And when I see parents going behind children, it sometimes amuses me! When parents decide where and how and why certain things be done, in a certain way, at a certain time, especially after your school and college days, it irks me as well.
I personally think, we learn life by failing. by being confused; by questioning; by being cheated upon; by learning to trust; by treading carelessly, and falling down; then getting up and falling down again; by burning your fingers; by being lazy; by walking on four legs; by having your face tarred; by facing the giants and getting beaten; by losing hope and trust and belief;
And finally getting up and facing it! Facing life!
I completely understand the need to show the way, the need to correct the path and the importance of being there when the ward is down.
Yet I think, there is this thin line, of being unobtrusive and yet being there, of letting them learn on their own yet making sure they are on the right track, of letting them live their own dreams and yet making sure the dreams don't hurtle down slippery slope.
Why should there be a line? Should there be a line at all? Where do we hold hands and when do we leave them on their own? Does holding hands more than necessary hurt the wards growth? Do they impede happiness?
Ah, the greyishness of my questions!How I wish there are clear white and black answers.
1 comment:
A thin line indeed! I am of the belief that parental authority is God ordained, and each child gets his share of boundaries and provisions. In the past, I have always blamed my parents on restricting my freedom, and yet, in hindsight, I am immensely grateful for the freedom they've afforded me. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."(Ephesians 6:4). Discipline and freedom inter-mingled. And each parent attempts to strike this balance.
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