The friend turned hero!

Age hasn't slowed her, even as the grey strains of hair are beginning to show up. As she bent forward to examine the broken feet of the man, she showed no signs of tiredness. "Aap kyun nahin hospital aaya" her words radiated anger and pain. A tinge of frustration as well. "Kal aao, mein aapkeliye treatment-free banaya". I followed her words carefully, lest my poor Hindi misses something important. I gathered that she is promising free treatment to the man if he comes to the hospital tomorrow. 

The man used to beg. Occasionally collected garbage to earn some money. In a freak accident, he had lost his legs. Life cannot be this cruel. It had hardly given him anything before. A small plastic sheet that he calls home. The old cot on which he is lying down. Wife and three children. Few utensils to cook food. The dress on the family smelt old. Old will be an understatement. 

There is pain everywhere. It was suffocating. Questions thronged in my mind. Where did it all go wrong? Children on the streets, begging. One food a day, if available. Ragged clothes. Pigs and humans almost eating in the same place. No place called a shelter. People eating rats. Children and women dying dime a dozen. Life had no value. The world of poverty and pain. The world I hardly understood. 

In that sinkhole of terribleness, 'S' and family serve. One patient at a time. One more man healed, even if temporarily, healed nevertheless, at least to live one more day to beg. 'S'! The 'S' I had known so well. The 'S' I grew up with. The earliest friend I know. 'S', the best outgoing student from the best medical college in India. 'S', the mother of three beautiful children. 

As we walked back home with heavy hearts, She narrated all the stories of pain that she had witnessed over the years. I saw something that I had missed seeing in her all the years. A complete sense of serenity. Three young kids don't frustrate her. Their future doesn't make her anxious. Hundreds of patients thronging every inch of the place don't irritate her. The pain and suffering around her don't make her helpless. 

The work is incredibly satisfying Sam, she said. 

'S', her husband 'G' and her friends, and everyone serving humanity in that place. Flickering lights in the darkest of places; keep my hope in human beings alive. 

Is there hope for humankind? I don't know! Perhaps 'S' has an answer. 

I went to the poorest state in India. Among the poorest districts of that state, and among the poorest areas of the district to meet a friend. I came back, watching a real-life hero in action. For 'S' surely is a hero this side of heaven. 

If your hero becomes a friend!

Do you have people in your life who you have watched from afar and secretly adored? The cricketer or the film star or a celebrity or the Neighbour next door. A person you have watched in real life or reel and wished you have that kind of talent? Wished you have that confidence, the attitude they carry, that articulative ability, that quality of thought process, the sense of humour, or sometimes even the anger? We all have a few people in our lives like that, don't we?

What happens if you have not met the person, nor spoken to the person but have just quietly adored from afar for a long time and suddenly one fine day realize you got to be good friends with them?

I gathered enough courage to ping 'N' and froze when the reply came in. Here I'm texting a long-time hero. How do I not freeze?

'N' wrote beautiful prose and even better poetry. 'N' was articulate, courageous, brave, funny, and feisty. Everything I'm not and wish I can be. Ah, when 'N' ranted on social media there are thoughts that I have taken time to think through and they came from deep pain. Articulating pain, I promise, is the single most difficult thing for a writer, and 'N' can bleed pain. Every time I read it, I went 'awwww'.

'N' responded gracefully. Within a few minutes of the conversation, I became comfortable talking. There started a good friendship, a friend to whom I go for opinion, thoughts, ideas, and assurance.

How does it feel to become good friends with your heroes?

Now, with all the wisdom of the grey hairs, I sometimes think heroes are ordinary people highly skilled in a field of activity. One also realizes heroes are normal human beings with their own yin and yang. But then, what is so romantic in life, if we put even our heroes within the same box as the monotony.

I loved it when 'N' used to be a hero almost a decade since. It is better to have 'N' as a friend now.

But can't we just let heroes be? I wish I keep 'N' on the pedestal till the end. Let proximity not diminish the sense of amazement; why should age destroy the wonders of the youth?

This blog is to celebrate another year in the life of 'N'; My friend, my hero!

Happy birthday 'N'. Here is to many more years of being the rockstar that you are. Godspeed!

My two cents on Hijab and education!

The court verdict didn't come as a surprise to me at all. Ah, we know it all too well, don't we? 

For those who stay away from the daily news and thus haven't heard about this issue, here is what happened. A few girl children were banned from entering school premises with their hijab on, citing various reasons, one of which was that Hijabs aren't part of the school uniform. The girls went to the court and the Karnataka high court has let the schools have their way and said that the girls have to follow the rules of the school and should not wear Hijab to school if the school says so. 

Social media is filled with hundreds of opinions and so I feel indebted to give mine as well. Here are my two cents. 

I think the role of the state(govt) is to make sure the necessary provisions reach every citizen. By necessary I mean food, security, health care, and education. I don't care if the state where I belong gives me a sim card or runs an airline, but I want the state to provide every individual, with those necessary things I have mentioned above. 

It is the mandate of the state to make these things available through every objection possible. Cultural, religious, and regional barriers should never come in between providing the basic necessities to its citizen. Any barrier, the state should try to overcome. 

If I, as a citizen of a country, tell my child that he/she should not study unless he/she wear a particular dress, the state should find a way out of it, to help my ward get education through the complexities. A citizen can complicate his life due to economic, cultural, and religious pressures. But a progressive liberal state in the modern world should look beyond them. 

So in the current scenario, the govt should actively promote educating the girls. If the girls say they will come to school only by wearing a hijab, so be it. Educating that one kid is a hundred times more important than everyone wearing a school uniform. 

Our state gives free food, so that the children come to school, at least to get food! That is how important education is. Even economic problems should not come in between a child and their education. Religious, cultural norms can surely be overcome, if only we have our hearts in the right place. 

Is the heart in the right place though? Does the state intend on educating, 'every individual '? 

I sincerely doubt the intentions of the state! 

To be happy or to be perfect?

Jonathan Liew wrote this about Shane 'the wizard' Warne

                    "I love that he wasn't perfect and most of all I love that he never tried to be"

This got me thinking about the eternal pursuit of mankind, 'happiness' and does it indeed come in-between perfection? 

I'm the happiest when I have parotta's and mutton chukka for breakfast (Yes, we get parotta's early morning in my hometown😅), beef biriyani for lunch, and Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner. What a life would that be! I'm drooling now, typing this. Phew, how I wish I can do that every day? Can I afford that sort of extreme happiness? Is that the pinnacle of happiness in the first place? I'm not sure. 

But I'm sure it also makes me happy when the weighing scale does not cry when I'm on it; But for that happiness, parotta's and my biriyani's cannot do. 

When the former Indian captain Virat Kohli spoke about fitness and diet and how he has managed his body, I dreamt! I dreamt of becoming one such. Obsessed with fitness, perfect in the diet; Does achieving dreams lead to happiness? I think so. Can and should I sacrifice my parotta's and biriyani's in the pursuit of that happiness? 

Why should I sacrifice day-to-day happiness at the altar of perfection? In the pursuit of the illusory 'happiness' again? I mean, am I not already happy?

Ah, such a complex question. Perhaps life isn't all about happiness. Perhaps there is more to it than what meets the eye. Or is it? 

I guess, to each his own! 

For now, the weighing scales are crying as the parottas and the biriyanis are keeping me happy! Some day, one day, I will try to be perfect though😉

Shane the magician - bowling spell!

Death hits you hard like nothing else can. When my Mom died, even after a prolonged sickness giving me enough time to absorb, it hit hard. Memories come haunting by. Many nights I just stared at the ceiling with her images flying by the innermost heart. Memories! Ah, memories. What would we be without them? 

Yesterday was one such evening as the news that Shane Warne, the magician with the ball, had passed on. It suddenly felt strange and unreal. Probably he is the first cricketing legend my generation had the honour of watching live to have passed on. Memories, they came in plenty. 

My generation Indian cricket lovers hated the Aussies. How could you love them, for they beat us for breakfast, lunch and dinner and that blindfolded. Yet, nobody ever hated Warne. Can anyone ever do so? 

All of us just copied his gentle walk to the bowling crease. Ball twirling in his hand. From one hand to the other. As if petting the ball to fall where he wanted it to be. For when Warne spoke, the ball listened. It drifted beautifully to pitch outside leg stump. Took a 47' left turn, spun at the rate of 250 knots. The ball had already been instructed to do so.  Then the Warne exultation! The batsman's confused looks. 

But Warne wasn't all about spin! It was the personality. Warnie's personality. The colour, the charm he brought to the game. He even won an IPL by the sheer dint of his personality. The wizardish looks, the wry smile after beating the bat, the audacious fields, 'bowled warnie' chants. Hell, he even commentated bamboozling a batsman live on TV!. 

The single binding memory of Warne for me was when the magician meets his match in Sachin or Lara and once Laxman. You can see the brain ticking. Every ball becomes a chess move. constant change in fields. A four over plan in place. Warne, the magician scheming. You sense the buzz! Something had to give in. Inevitably something gave in. 

You gave in too early Warnie!A little too early. RIP. You have given us a lot of memories to savour for a lifetime though.

The women in my life!

The church asked the women in the congregation to stand up to pray for them; I closed my eyes and thought of all the women in my life! 

As I closed my eyes, my thought went back to the day when I told my mom that all my favourite people in the world are women. Obviously! I was just a teenager then. The prayer went on and I decided to take some time to think about the great women in my life now. 

There has to be my mom in there somewhere no? This is after-all my blog. She was a great woman and I will leave it at that. From her last days to this day, there has been a familial mad rush to fill her place in our lives by the aunts and they have all been truly remarkable. From all the love to being the MIL for the wifey, they have done it all. Forever indebted!

The sister who had checked up on me at-least once every week over the years. What a woman she is! From being my fulcrum till I got married, to being the side-kick, she has done it all. Grateful to the light that she is, guiding me along life's merry ways. 

To all the beautiful cousin sisters and the sisters in laws', who have been a sport and borne all my nonsense. You are such sweethearts. Remembering all the late night conversations, the fun, the banters, the food fests and of course, surely, the family gossips. Each in their own way unique ways have made my life better. Thank you is just an external appreciation of my love, people. You can obviously reciprocate by gifts! I don't mind receiving anything in return. 

Friends! What would life be without the beautiful women who had been such good friends over the years. Some have stayed on and have been my go-to person for anything and everything! A few have been best friends for life. In a culture and a country which has treated women with disdain, a few of my friends have been absolute geniuses. I bow down to each one of them. There is so much to learn from them and I'm truly humbled to be friends with them. 

Finally, the wife! Well, I will not embarrass her here. She has been the fulcrum and everything that rotates around it. period. 

There have been many other women in my life playing many different roles. As colleagues, as mentors, as bosses and a few even as enemies. You have all made my life better! 

To all the women in my life, and all the great women out there, thanking god for all of you. Without women, life, surely my life, would have been a deadpan.

The lonely girl in a man's world!

This lady 'X' had been married when she was 17. After having multiple children the husband left her to fend for herself. 'X' married off her eldest daughter when she was in her teens. The eldest daughter's husband left her after giving her two girl children. 

Now 62, 'X' along with an uneducated daughter and her two grandchildren are trying to live life on their own. Educating the girl was costlier then. Educating the girl wasn't on their mind. Education for girl children, the religion didn't approve of. Educating the girl was antithetical to the societal norms. 

After so many years and multiple generations, the family is finally living the fury of the patriarchal stupidity of the society. 

As wifey was discussing this story about this family, I was reminded and deeply disturbed by another video which was doing the rounds on Social Media. A video of a young girl in hijab being heckled by young boys, most probably her own classmates. 

It was scary! heartbreaking! What was going through her mind when she walked across these hecklers? 

Finally through all the patriarchal idiocy of generations when the girl child could come to school, they are being heckled and booed out of their classrooms in the name of religion and religious identities. 

No, I don't know how it feels to be a woman in this man's world. But I know it is time I shut everything up and let the girls be. Don't let religious, societal and cultural compulsions come in between the girls and their education. Let them be. Let them just be.