To be happy or to be perfect?

Jonathan Liew wrote this about Shane 'the wizard' Warne

                    "I love that he wasn't perfect and most of all I love that he never tried to be"

This got me thinking about the eternal pursuit of mankind, 'happiness' and does it indeed come in-between perfection? 

I'm the happiest when I have parotta's and mutton chukka for breakfast (Yes, we get parotta's early morning in my hometown😅), beef biriyani for lunch, and Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner. What a life would that be! I'm drooling now, typing this. Phew, how I wish I can do that every day? Can I afford that sort of extreme happiness? Is that the pinnacle of happiness in the first place? I'm not sure. 

But I'm sure it also makes me happy when the weighing scale does not cry when I'm on it; But for that happiness, parotta's and my biriyani's cannot do. 

When the former Indian captain Virat Kohli spoke about fitness and diet and how he has managed his body, I dreamt! I dreamt of becoming one such. Obsessed with fitness, perfect in the diet; Does achieving dreams lead to happiness? I think so. Can and should I sacrifice my parotta's and biriyani's in the pursuit of that happiness? 

Why should I sacrifice day-to-day happiness at the altar of perfection? In the pursuit of the illusory 'happiness' again? I mean, am I not already happy?

Ah, such a complex question. Perhaps life isn't all about happiness. Perhaps there is more to it than what meets the eye. Or is it? 

I guess, to each his own! 

For now, the weighing scales are crying as the parottas and the biriyanis are keeping me happy! Some day, one day, I will try to be perfect though😉

Shane the magician - bowling spell!

Death hits you hard like nothing else can. When my Mom died, even after a prolonged sickness giving me enough time to absorb, it hit hard. Memories come haunting by. Many nights I just stared at the ceiling with her images flying by the innermost heart. Memories! Ah, memories. What would we be without them? 

Yesterday was one such evening as the news that Shane Warne, the magician with the ball, had passed on. It suddenly felt strange and unreal. Probably he is the first cricketing legend my generation had the honour of watching live to have passed on. Memories, they came in plenty. 

My generation Indian cricket lovers hated the Aussies. How could you love them, for they beat us for breakfast, lunch and dinner and that blindfolded. Yet, nobody ever hated Warne. Can anyone ever do so? 

All of us just copied his gentle walk to the bowling crease. Ball twirling in his hand. From one hand to the other. As if petting the ball to fall where he wanted it to be. For when Warne spoke, the ball listened. It drifted beautifully to pitch outside leg stump. Took a 47' left turn, spun at the rate of 250 knots. The ball had already been instructed to do so.  Then the Warne exultation! The batsman's confused looks. 

But Warne wasn't all about spin! It was the personality. Warnie's personality. The colour, the charm he brought to the game. He even won an IPL by the sheer dint of his personality. The wizardish looks, the wry smile after beating the bat, the audacious fields, 'bowled warnie' chants. Hell, he even commentated bamboozling a batsman live on TV!. 

The single binding memory of Warne for me was when the magician meets his match in Sachin or Lara and once Laxman. You can see the brain ticking. Every ball becomes a chess move. constant change in fields. A four over plan in place. Warne, the magician scheming. You sense the buzz! Something had to give in. Inevitably something gave in. 

You gave in too early Warnie!A little too early. RIP. You have given us a lot of memories to savour for a lifetime though.

The women in my life!

The church asked the women in the congregation to stand up to pray for them; I closed my eyes and thought of all the women in my life! 

As I closed my eyes, my thought went back to the day when I told my mom that all my favourite people in the world are women. Obviously! I was just a teenager then. The prayer went on and I decided to take some time to think about the great women in my life now. 

There has to be my mom in there somewhere no? This is after-all my blog. She was a great woman and I will leave it at that. From her last days to this day, there has been a familial mad rush to fill her place in our lives by the aunts and they have all been truly remarkable. From all the love to being the MIL for the wifey, they have done it all. Forever indebted!

The sister who had checked up on me at-least once every week over the years. What a woman she is! From being my fulcrum till I got married, to being the side-kick, she has done it all. Grateful to the light that she is, guiding me along life's merry ways. 

To all the beautiful cousin sisters and the sisters in laws', who have been a sport and borne all my nonsense. You are such sweethearts. Remembering all the late night conversations, the fun, the banters, the food fests and of course, surely, the family gossips. Each in their own way unique ways have made my life better. Thank you is just an external appreciation of my love, people. You can obviously reciprocate by gifts! I don't mind receiving anything in return. 

Friends! What would life be without the beautiful women who had been such good friends over the years. Some have stayed on and have been my go-to person for anything and everything! A few have been best friends for life. In a culture and a country which has treated women with disdain, a few of my friends have been absolute geniuses. I bow down to each one of them. There is so much to learn from them and I'm truly humbled to be friends with them. 

Finally, the wife! Well, I will not embarrass her here. She has been the fulcrum and everything that rotates around it. period. 

There have been many other women in my life playing many different roles. As colleagues, as mentors, as bosses and a few even as enemies. You have all made my life better! 

To all the women in my life, and all the great women out there, thanking god for all of you. Without women, life, surely my life, would have been a deadpan.

The lonely girl in a man's world!

This lady 'X' had been married when she was 17. After having multiple children the husband left her to fend for herself. 'X' married off her eldest daughter when she was in her teens. The eldest daughter's husband left her after giving her two girl children. 

Now 62, 'X' along with an uneducated daughter and her two grandchildren are trying to live life on their own. Educating the girl was costlier then. Educating the girl wasn't on their mind. Education for girl children, the religion didn't approve of. Educating the girl was antithetical to the societal norms. 

After so many years and multiple generations, the family is finally living the fury of the patriarchal stupidity of the society. 

As wifey was discussing this story about this family, I was reminded and deeply disturbed by another video which was doing the rounds on Social Media. A video of a young girl in hijab being heckled by young boys, most probably her own classmates. 

It was scary! heartbreaking! What was going through her mind when she walked across these hecklers? 

Finally through all the patriarchal idiocy of generations when the girl child could come to school, they are being heckled and booed out of their classrooms in the name of religion and religious identities. 

No, I don't know how it feels to be a woman in this man's world. But I know it is time I shut everything up and let the girls be. Don't let religious, societal and cultural compulsions come in between the girls and their education. Let them be. Let them just be. 

Father time and my old man!

1990! I wake up. Look around for him. He is in his usual place. Easy chair, newspaper in hand. The brown lungi, without a shirt. I walk up-to him. He keeps the newspaper to the side. He takes me onto his lap. 

My routine till I was five. Perhaps even after. The Dad's lap was all I ever wanted. My dad. My super hero. 

2022! I have this looooong call with him trying to explain how office 365 works on an iPad. I hate the call. Don't want it to prolong. It goes on and on and on. Everything I try fails. Team viewer (trying to remotely connect to his iPad) didn't work either. It takes us a good hour to sort it out before I cut the call. I hate that one hour. Arrrrrgggghhh😡😡😡. 

30 years! Phew, time has flown by! 

The dad was the smartest brain I knew, till I met my wife. He knew everything. Once during my school days he taught me science and I still remember that day. The lesson sounded so clear; I was in awe of his brain then. Apparently he was the smartest around during his school days as well.

As I saw that brilliant mind struggle to understand and work its way through something as simple as Office 365, something in me broke down. This wasn't the first time it has hit me. I knew the man is getting old. Yet, it hit me hard today. My man is becoming old! The transition from being the super hero to an old man is real. Scary as hell. 

No, I didn't shout at him. I was remarkably patient. And I promised myself that I will be patient when he needs me again. For, sadly, I know it can only go downhill from now. 

Why can't time wait for me? Can I stop time once? Just once? shall I just go back to the days of sitting there on the dad's lap with my hands on his paunch? Is 'turning back the clock' meant to be a phrase for a fantasy land?  Father time, can it ever be defeated?   

Surely time in the real world can never ever be defeated! 

But perhaps precious memories, hazy imageries, forgotten stories and the residual thoughts are all those we are left with to fight time, at least in our own metaverses. 

A grateful goodbye!

So, did you all like 2021? Did you? Did I like 2021? Come let us relive my year. 

I'm just letting my thoughts flow over; 2021 was a year like that; Like a river that ebbed and flowed. Yet through it all, His grace was sufficient!

What can you say about a year where we as a family went from one hospital to another to another. From one specialist to another. From a cardiologist to an oncologist to a gynaecologist; The year in a gist, was the gists of the medical field put together. Yet, as always, the family stood tall! Taller than ever before. We laughed our way through the most difficult days. Wifey takes the cake. Extended family the cherry on top.

The blessings though, have been many! The biggest blessing of it all, are the much awaited children coming into our lives in the coming years. What a joy will that be, to hold one more of those God given dolls.

When it rains, it pours! And blessings did pour, as two more joined in the extended family. Marriage, the fun of cousins' wedding and two new souls joining the madness were fun. 

Friends have always been my backbone! Well, the backbone stood strong this year too. Everyday and through the lows and highs, they stood strong. A brilliant new friendship was formed. Best friend for life! A few childhood friendships renewed. 

Ever grateful to the passionate souls I worked with day in and day out. My team and my org were simply the best. Through every thing my life threw at me, they stood with me. Ah, what will be life without them?

I look forward excitedly for new beginnings. Newer roles. Personally and professionally. Meeting more people. More travel. A lot of reading and writing. Newer adventures. Newer challenges. Can life get more exciting? 

Did I like 2021? Well, 2021 has set up 2022 really well. For that I'm grateful for 2021. It wasn't the best. It sure wasn't. No major complains either. Just a grateful goodbye. 

Is nationalism a privilege?

"You are a true Indian", the friend commented. He even gifted me a T-shirt with the "India loves you" tag on it. I wore it proudly around. I was a young boy with fantasies of changing the country for good working for an organisation in southern Assam and had always worn nationalism on my chest. Loved the country to bits. Felt proud of the Army! (What was I then, a sanghi? 😟)

This brilliant Naga doctor friend, colleague and neighbour, always knew better than me. He spoke highly of the Naga's and their history. He had a brilliant understanding of the tribal lives, their culture, their socio-economy and every other thing about the Naga way of living! I mean, there were 1001 tribes and each had a way of life, and this guy knew it all. 

And he always, in his own humble way, said India hasn't been kind to them. 

I argued with him. Didn't really think it was India's mistake that the state of Nagaland remained backward(whatever that mean). Though, somehow, he always won the arguments. Obviously he knew better! 

When the Indian army shot dead 14 innocent human beings yesterday, my thoughts went back to those conversations. I can hear my friend shout out loud on my ears, "Didn't I tell you?, India hasn't been kind to us". 

I hang my head in shame. Any country which shoots at human beings, leave alone the adjective 'innocent', does not deserve an existence in this modern world. When you shoot at your own people, and that without any provocation whatsoever, it is plain barbarianism. The modern word for it is 'Terrorism'. 

The politics of Armed Forces Special Powers Act (AFSPA) which provides immunity to any action taken by armed men in the so called disturbed areas is problematic at so many levels. 

Why should armed men be allowed to freely use their weapon without control in a civilized society? What will be the mindset of young children growing up seeing armed battalion roaming around on the main roads? How does it feel, when you can't trust those who are supposed to be protecting you? More importantly, why should the armed men have immunity from judicial actions? 

I dare argue with the wisdom of my friend again! Life, as I grew older, showed me the mirror of privilege; To not know the pain of having armed men standing guard on your doorstep is a privilege. To not understand what it means to have police men shooting at your neighbours is a privilege. In fact, sadly, not being shot at, by the so called protectors, is in itself a privilege. 

Is wearing the badge of nationalism a privilege too? AFSPA deems it so.